


Cadenza

by ParadiseParrot



Series: Cadenza [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Discussion of Abortion, Eye Trauma, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mechpreg, Optic Trauma, Other, Sparkpreg, Transformer Sparklings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-14 05:40:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5731465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParadiseParrot/pseuds/ParadiseParrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soundwave is Megatron's most loyal servant. Every decision he has made in four million years has proved it to their cause. Then something changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a oneshot, but it got away from me--as these things often do. There is a bit of discussion of sex/interfacing and sparklet termination, so I've rated and tagged at my discretion. Enjoy the story folks!
> 
> Cadenza: an improvised or written-out ornamental passage

Soundwave trusted in one thing.

He had made it his mantra through four million years of war crimes, had let it keep him grounded in a world torn apart. Megatron was his lord, his master, and would lead them somewhere that mattered. He had never questioned his loyalty to the cause. He had never asked for more than what he was always provided. Knowing he had such a firm, constant thing to be devoted to had been enough. He had never wavered, and as a result he had rarely ever failed.

This devotion had never needed to spread beyond military means. Soundwave would have been content at his console, with the insight and silent power his work provided him. Knowing that he alone was trusted had always been enough.

But it had, of course. Megatron took what he wanted and Soundwave had never refused. He had always leaned into the touches, twisting into his lord's hands in silence as Megatron took and took. It was a kind of eagerness no one else knew existed in Soundwave, and Megatron reveled in it.

Such rewards for his service came less often as the war wore them down, but each time Soundwave still gave himself over. Even as the strain began to crack Megatron's iron resolve, Soundwave was there, in body, spark and quiet loyalty.

Occasionally Laserbeak questioned, silently, whether this would still all be worthwhile in the end. His other symbiotes often had out loud, back in the days when he had other symbiotes to feel closeness to. Soundwave's firm devotion always boiled out the seeds of dissent this could plant. With only Laserbeak left, such discussions had trickled to nothing. They did their work with the excellence Lord Megatron expected. Soundwave, as he nearly always had, expected nothing in return.

Why should he mind? What did Soundwave need to ask for in return, besides the knowledge that he did his duty?

When Megatron died, and dark energon returned him, Soundwave remained. He began to find himself in Megatron's berth more often, his spark bared against his and plating hot between his thighs. There was something wild in Megatron that had not been there before, a darker kind of obsession with Optimus, or control, or whatever else had captured the imagination of the miner from Tarn. Soundwave did not complain. Late in the downshift he would watch him from under his visor, concern pulsing through him as he watched his restless recharge. There was much to be concerned about these days. Alone above a tiny blue planet in a tiny silver ship, full of insignificant, treacherous mechs and drones.

Soundwave resolved, as always, to be excellent. Laserbeak would cock her head as he returned to his chambers that morning, the closest she could get to teasing him (which therefore meant it was the closest anyone, ever, would get to teasing him).

He would report to his post, and continue his excellence.

When he first felt unwell, he pushed through. Such illnesses were rare for Soundwave, so he ignored it as always, making no indication that his spark pulsed wrong and his energon ran too hot. He ignored Laserbeak's quiet concern, and eavesdropped on the Vehicons to ensure that no new virus was coursing through them and had settled in his frame. His vision blurred and his reaction times slowed, nausea clouding him. He pretended not to notice his own body.

One downshift he found himself in his washrack, on hands and knees, fumbling for the catches on his visor so he could retch up the day's ration. Laserbeak's alarm fed back to him before he had gotten it all up, and he stared down at his reflection in the mess. His real face, and the reminder that he had never learned to smooth out his expressions. Hiding them had made it so easy to pretend his optics never went wide, and his teeth never gritted in distress.

_Go to Knock Out, you fool._

For once he wished Laserbeak really was a drone. Drones never told you what you didn't want to hear. They certainly never reminded you they were capable of a full sentence and insulted you at the same time. Assailed your long-controlled empathy with emotion and concern.

Soundwave washed his face, and clicked his visor back on. He had to move slowly towards his berth, the clench in his spark almost as violent as the churn of his fuel tanks. He pulled himself into his berth (it had never before been more inviting than the console) and informed Knock Out he would seeing him before his shift.

He had never simply cleared part of a schedule for his own ends. Soundwave did this through the ache in his tanks, and recharged deeply.

* * *

 

"Well _this_ is...unexpected," Knock Out said the next day.

His voice was flat, after several checks and rechecks of Soundwave's systems and spark. He hadn't been particularly pleased about the clearing of his typical work for Soundwave, of all mechs, but that was what he was there for.

Laserbeak circled lazily over their heads, cleared off when Knock Out determined he needed to check the spark. How he had gotten there must have taken some guessing, as Soundwave had not been a helpful patient. Laserbeak would have to be satisfied with him making an appearance.

When Knock Out began to stiffen, his optics pulsing darker, Soundwave watched with interest. When he threw his instruments aside, pressing his audial against Soundwave's chest, his interest turned into alarm.

He betrayed this only by cocking his head to one side, questioning. When Knock Out straightened up, he was clearly struggling to keep his composure. It was rare these days that Soundwave was assaulted by the emotions of others, but now Knock Out's alarm and surprise assaulted his senses. He was grateful for his visor.

"It seems that you're carrying a spark," Knock Out said carefully.

Soundwave actually started. Above his head, Laserbeak nearly crashed. She had to land quickly, on Soundwave's outstretched arm, and he could feel in her plating the shake.

Soundwave and Knock Out regarded each other for a long moment. Knock Out broke first, of course. "I'll need to run a full diagnostic," he said, filling the silence. "Of course, the vibration I heard is quite faint, so you're not all that far along—I assume it's Megatron's?" When he got no answer, Knock Out continued on. "In any case, it's a shock that your merging would produce life out _here,_ on the quality of Earth's energon...hm. What will our liege think?" he asked, one hand on his hip.

Soundwave played back part of a recording, one from a particularly brutal chewing-out Megatron had given Starscream some centuries ago. " _-I will_ not _tolerate such nonsense aboard_ my _ship!_ "

Knock Out nodded, face thoughtful. "Agreed, he won't allow it. You _are_ early enough for a termination. Simple procedure, at this stage." He forced out a laugh. "Imagine, a newspark aboard this ship!"

Soundwave felt... _something_ curling in his spark, as much as he could through Laserbeak's shock feeding back. It was a ludicrous idea, one he agreed would disgust Megatron. Soundwave himself had never been all that near a newspark anyway. A few sparklet corpses, if they'd raided somewhere rich. He knew they were dependent and had to start off small. It took time to get them through their upgrades. And Soundwave's spark, its lifeforce, had always been off. He had never concerned himself with merging on Megatron, because the chance of it causing an issue had been so small.

He had miscalculated, badly.

"I've done terminations on a Vehicon or two since I got here," Knock Out was saying, waving a hand as he returned to his diagnostic tools. "Recovery time is very short. It was a common procedure, actually, when there were more of us. Of course, maybe now the powers that be are regretting it, mm? Maybe there'd still be more of us today..."

Soundwave was hardly listening. He fended off comm after comm from Laserbeak, ignoring her completely for perhaps the first time in his life. Knock Out said something about free time the next day, if he wanted to speak to Megatron first.

"If not, of course, that's fine too," Knock Out continued. "It may be best not to concern him with such matters. Come back tomorrow and we'll take care of it."

Laserbeak returned to her place on Soundwave's chest, and they left. Knock Out's incessant chatter was somehow amplified, and Soundwave hastened himself back to his quarters. When the door had closed safely behind them (as if anyone would be listening) Laserbeak commed him. He answered her ping, and let her concern wash over him.

He allowed himself a brief moment of lying back on his berth, resting his spindly fingers over his spark chamber. It astounded him that he hadn't noticed before, but now he could hear it too. The steady thrum of his own spark, always, and Laserbeak's little one close by. And now, an even smaller one. Barely legible, but so very close to his own.

Megatron would be unhappy about the inconvenience. Perhaps concerned that it would affect Soundwave's ability to be useful, or even for his well-being, but there was no place for a newspark. They needed attention. Affection, even. There was none of that here, or in Soundwave himself.

He had never created life before.

Soundwave lay still, letting the realization dawn slowly, so it would not shock his own systems. Most of his symbiotes were dead or worse. He was never lonely, with Laserbeak and his work keeping him occupied, so it wasn't that.

He found himself shocked, because he had no good reason. There was a roiling sickness in his tanks, and it wasn't the physical kind from before. He didn't admit to himself, but waited for it to dawn on Laserbeak. She stiffened, and turned her head slowly. She regarded him with one bright, beady optic.

_You can't. Why would you?_

He had no answer. She questioned him again, and again, and Soundwave decided to ignore her, again, and returned to work. He did not see Knock Out for the rest of that day, and ignored his feelings as he always did.

Halfway to the medical bay the next day, for his termination, Soundwave turned around. Laserbeak he had sent scouting, to her annoyance. She wasn't there to feed him back fear and alarm as he changed his route. His steps found purpose as he moved, and he found himself at his communications hub, alone. He waited.

Megatron appeared some time later, still dented and dirty from last night's scuffle with the Autobots. He paused when he found Soundwave facing him instead of his console, but said nothing. Had he been Starscream he would have snapped at him to return to work. But his most loyal servant had a reason for everything. Megatron raised a brow. Soundwave steeled himself.

"Ah, Soundwave," he said. "Do you have something to report?"

In a way. Soundwave stepped forward and kneeled, a low and practiced sweep. He allowed himself to feel Megatron's surprise. No impatience, yet. Almost an indulgent curiosity for why his third in command would not be working his console.

Soundwave turned his visor towards his master. The clip he played was so private that he would otherwise never have revealed its existence, but Megatron would recognize himself in it, looming over Soundwave, his optics dark with lust.

The Megatron of right now stared at him, and Soundwave stood up. He reached for his master's hand and pressed it against Soundwave's spark chamber. He willed him to understand.

"What-" Megatron said, his optics wide.

Soundwave relented, and played back Knock Out's voice. "It seems that you're carrying a spark."

Megatron stepped back as if he had been burned. "You're—what? You're _what?_ "

Soundwave nodded, slowly, towards his chest. Megatron half reached out, before pulling his hand back. Finally, Megatron took a cautious step forward, folding his arms.

"It's early, I assume?" he asked in a low voice. "Speak to Knock Out. He will take care of our problem. Thank you for telling me, Soundwave." He sighed, and his shoulders seemed to lower. Taking on the weight of the Decepticon problems. "We will have to take more care."

There was no anger, of course. Soundwave had never asked for anything in all his service.

Soundwave kneeled again, just as Megatron turned to go. This time he prostrated himself, his visor pressed to the floor. Megatron paused. Soundwave sent him a message, a request: permission to bring the spark online.

Soundwave knew well the loudness of silence. It burned in his audials, and he regretted sending Laserbeak away. Even in disagreement, a symbiote was soothing. Megatron stood in silence for a long time.

"Soundwave," Megatron said. "What use is a newspark? It would be much too long before it was battle worthy. What do you... _want_ with it?"

He didn't respond. He had no answer, for himself or anyone else. Not even for Megatron himself. Soundwave have never been without an answer. Shame roiled his spark and his tanks.

He requested permission, again. And didn't move.

Soundwave heard Megatron take a step back. Finally, he dared look up. Megatron was looking down at him, and he could not read his face.

"Why do you want this?" he asked softly. "I am...I'm disappointed, Soundwave. Help me understand."

Again, Soundwave lowered his head. And requested permission, as if he were about to access something or send Laserbeak somewhere dangerous. The silence was deafening.

Megatron regarded him, and Soundwave knew it was a colder look than before. Not disdain, not yet. But Soundwave had never before needed an excuse—he had always had an answer for his lord. Nearly always the right answer. No response at all was for beings much lesser.

He heard his weight shift. A deep, tired exhale. "I would allow no one else such an opportunity," he said. "I would not allow you, Soundwave. Especially when termination is still an option."

Soundwave resigned himself. Why did it upset him to begin with? Right now a termination was harmless—in a few weeks it would be a death sentence. His lord was absolutely correct, and Soundwave had displayed shocking behaviour when he asked for an exception—no, not asked. He had begged, visor to the floor at Megatron's feet. Soundwave asked for nothing.

But the spark was life. Emotions surrounded him, though he rarely indulged. The spark was _his._

Another heavy sigh. "But you...you are my most loyal one, above all others. You have never served your own ends." Now Soundwave dared look up. "You will keep them out of my sight. You will educate them quickly, and upgrade them faster."

Four million years of loyal service, and this would be his gift. Permission—not approval—to online this unplanned, unwanted newspark. Keep them.

"And you will _not_ be compromised," Megatron said. "If your output is not the excellence I have come to expect...well. Our experiment ends. As you were."

Soundwave had never been threatened by Megatron.

He rose to his feet, and it was a struggle to keep himself firm, to not shake and let his plating clack together. He was about to thank Megatron—he could not imagine how, but _something,_ after this incredible reward—

Megatron turned to go. "I will inform Knock Out personally of his new orders," he said, hands behind his back as he left the bridge. Soundwave watched him go, and returned to his console. He called Laserbeak home.

He had disappointed his lord. If he had been Starscream, that would have been a success. Soundwave supposed it still was, as he brought his machines online and began the day's work, as if he had not failed. He had gone unharmed, and gotten what he wanted.

He had failed for the first time.

* * *

Knock Out groaned often about his _new orders_. Mostly to Breakdown, but also to Starscream, or whatever poor drone was assisting him that day. Soundwave listened as always. It would have been the usual entertainment, if not for the fact that Knock Out was responsible for his newspark's survival.

Building the frame fell to him and Breakdown, too, and Soundwave avoided any say in design, or paint, or other frivolities. Such a small frame would keep it alive, and it was only temporary. He researched well-built spark chambers instead, and how the spark's energy kickstarted the growth of the brain module and other vitals. He did this alongside his work, or had Laserbeak download the information into his processor. When Knock Out ordered rest, "if they really were going to do this," Soundwave simply worked from his berth.

Laserbeak had been furious.

Soundwave had almost been impressed by her profanity, and her willingness to use it on him. But she still pored through records for him, as she always had. In recharge, against Soundwave's spark, he knew she could feel the new, smaller vibation alongside Soundwave's. Her reluctance to leave her place there, as time went on and it grew louder, indicated that she was not as disdainful as she claimed.

 _Carrier bonds are strong,_ she said one evening. _Like a symbiote and their master. I think I get it._

Soundwave had been her carrier for a long time, in a sense. Their sparks had comforted each other for longer than the war had gone on. It was a relief that someone, however reluctantly, understood. He still had no good explanations for himself, and it was a frustrating state.

Knock Out explained to him the medical vitals: time spent in the first frame before the upgrade, what measure of low-grade to feed them, what Knock Out would have to do to extract the spark in the end. Soundwave had to admit to reservations about allowing him anywhere near his spark.

There was, however, no choice in the matter. And the way Knock Out and Breakdown handled the frame one night, when they thought Soundwave had left, surprised him pleasantly. They were gentle in handling, as if the shell was already alive and sensitive to pain. Knock Out still grumbled, but his hands moved with skill. It was enough, for now, to satisfy Soundwave.

It was the six longest Earth months Soundwave had experienced, too, because the times he felt weak and ill only mounted. Now he had to contend with medical care, and rest, and work towards the same excellence that had always made him so valuable.

His interactions with Megatron were professional and brief. It seemed to Soundwave that he was only checked on at all to make sure he _was_ meeting his lord's standards, not wavering because of his condition. There were no more small confidences, or quiet company. Certainly no more requests to share Megatron's berth.

Soundwave tried to be content with his thoughts, and Laserbeak. He still had no explanation for why he had pleaded to keep this tiny spark, but as he worked, data cables out, his fingers would often come to rest on his spark chamber. He thought of dark energon.

That had worried Knock Out. "It's unprecedented, to be honest," he'd said, audial pressed to Soundwave's chest as he listened. "I don't think dark energon has ever ignited a newspark. Everything's gone smoothly—so far—but I'm afraid we'll have to see how this ends when it ends."

The newspark frame was nearly done—all that remained were finishing touches. The newspark itself would make the blue paint lustrous with life, give its optics one of Primus's bright colours. Knock Out had already warned Soundwave that parent sparks didn't always guarantee the colour. He doubted such things had been mentioned to Megatron

Their room had no indications that a newspark would soon be living in it—they would recharge in Soundwave's berth. Decepticons had no toys, and Soundwave would take books for them as he needed to.

He didn't answer his symbiote, continuing his decryption. He had been too wrapped up in other thoughts to exert himself fretting about colours.

Knock Out and Breakdown had made themselves useful. Megatron kept his distance, and the drones had always given him a wide berth. Laserbeak asked about names, and got no answer. Soundwave thought about those when she was in the sky, doing her fieldwork.

Starscream became unbearable.

He had been for most of their career together, but now Starscream _glowered_ at Soundwave, speaking to him only when it was imperative and looking at the newspark frame in disgust, had he chosen to visit the medical bay. It was only when Soundwave walked past him one day, too close, and felt his _jealousy_ in blistering waves that he realized the problem.

Word had spread, of course, with Soundwave's new weekly diagnostics and the tiny frame being constructed in the open. It was no secret that Starscream and Megatron had also often shared a berth, and it had never particularly bothered Soundwave. His lord took what he needed.

But the way Starscream stalked past Soundwave, muttering about "not _deserving_ of carrying an heir," finally clued Soundwave in. (It had taken much too long to realize. Disappointing.) His spark jolted so hard that he worried he had dislodged the newspark entirely. Duplicitous, incorrigible, _whining_ Starscream could never get away with carrying, even if he wanted to. He would have received a termination that hour for the trouble. Megatron might well have snuffed out Starscream's spark too, for being so careless with a merge.

Soundwave, in this case, could safely say he didn't care. Starscream was much less entertaining these days, but it was somewhat worth the peace and quiet. He had grown to need it.

The last week he carried, Knock Out kept him in medical bay. Only now did Soundwave's work output slow, because all he seemed to do was recharge. He would reach out for Laserbeak's presence, for the hum of the growing spark, or both. Comforted, he'd rest deeply. In his waking hours, he never saw or heard from their lord. For the first time, he had made a choice that had not been Megatron.

Instead he had taken this tiny, flickering spark, now pressing uncomfortably against his chestplates. The purple light of Soundwave's own spark tinted the room, pressed up. Soundwave had failed to think of it as a person yet—just life, his life. But they'd be their own life soon.

Waves of affectionhad started to surprise him. He imagined the new frame alive, reaching for him. Upgraded and sitting near him as they learned the arts of war, and the many languages Soundwave had decoded. A future where Soundwave stood at Megatron's side again, and this spark had been built into someone clever and strong. They, too, would stand at their parent's sides. To be wielded, as Soundwave had been.

For now, as Knock Out prepared him for extraction, Soundwave thought about how _small_ that frame was. How very unequipped he was for nurturing, or the raising of anything. How he had ever believed this was an idea worth fighting for.

 _You nurture,_ Laserbeak told him. Just before stasis was induced, from the hallway into which she'd been banished. _Look at me. Look at us. What do we do for each other?_

She had given him truth, his last companion. Soundwave remembered this as he went offline.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave navigates parenthood aboard Megatron's flagship. His choice means he's failed Megatron, and he struggles to navigate that, too.

Laserbeak, to her credit, had been correct.

According to Knock Out (who talked too much when he was nervous), Sonata had wailed as soon as Soundwave onlined again, and their bond cemented. Soundwave had felt it right away, a string twisted round his spark that _tugged._ He sat up and reached out. He took Knock Out's scolding for exerting himself, and ignored it.

He listened as much as ever to the goings-on. But he almost never turned from Sonata's face.

Megatron disapproved of the name. Megatron's disapproval, which had been kept tightly in check when Soundwave carried, had flared just briefly that first day. He had seen the newspark once so far, before he and Soundwave had been released from the medical bay. He had glanced down once, and scowled.

"Blue," he'd said. "Who is punishing me with _blue_ optics?"

Soundwave had heard him, and had simply sent him the appropriate information in a packet. There was no guarantee of optic colour, no matter what the parent spark. His full name was Sonata of the Nemesis, and his spark, amazingly, seemed untouched by the dark energon.

"The designation, then," he said finally. "Explain yourself."

Soundwave simply played a recording, overheard from some drone.

"It's just...something I like."

Megatron had regarded him in silence. Hesitation in Soundwave, even in using another's words, was almost unprecedented. Finally he nodded curtly. "Keep him out of my sight," he said, and left.

Music was simply language without words. Soundwave thought little of Earth's fare, though it was more varied than any race he'd researched. The classical, instrumental work had always been most pleasing to come across. If his son grew to hate the name, when he was his own mech he could choose again. But it pleased Soundwave, and Sonata would online his optics and reach towards his visor when his new name was sent to him, in silence.

His paint had come alive in a deep, cosmic blue. His blue optics glowed so bright that the red glass they'd been built from was hardly noticeable. He suspected male (and he had always had good sense for those things), so for now they all went with _he._ Most importantly, Sonata was Soundwave's alone.

Almost.

The carrier bond was warm, and pleasant, and released more affection than Soundwave had ever believed he had in him. Laserbeak felt it faintly, too, and claimed it forced her to stay close.

She was lying, of course. She clearly adored him, and would peer over him as he recharged in Soundwave's arms, finally resting her head on his tiny chest.

Soundwave kept them to his quarters. He did what work he could, with Sonata resting against Laserbeak's usual place on his front. Their bond was strong—Soundwave could hardly leave for the washrack without Sonata's wailing rising up to meet him. It made him react too, spark reaching out on instinct, and quickly he was keeping Sonata as close as he could. Knock Out had said it was unusually acute. Soundwave didn't mind.

Sonata's first checkup meant others touching him. Soundwave found himself incredibly averse to this, and it was with hesitation that he handed Sonata over to Knock Out for his examination. Sonata felt his unease right away and began to cry, making Soundwave's fingers twitch in spite of himself and Knock Out tut, shaking his head.

"Now, little one, we can't have that," he said, checking that each little joint still moved without pain. He flicked on a light,watching for Sonata's optics to follow them. "You're a Decepticon now. A very small one, with Autobot optics, but one nonetheless."

Sonata reached for Soundwave, and it took four million years of willpower not to snatch his son back to him. He gave his head a minute shake, and Sonata slowly sat back. Knock Out smiled, and it was almost _indulgent._ Like he was enjoying this. His hands, which had ripped plenty of mechs apart piece by piece, were appropriately gentle as he held Sonata in place and checked his spark frequency.

Last were the vaccinations—something the officers had not dealt with since the height of the war, but routine for the drones. "There's always some rust infection or system virus going through this place. So, Sonata," Knock Out said as found the right line, "here you go."

Sonata cried loudly at the pricks, and after, safe in Soundwave's arms, he fussed, helm resting against Soundwave's spark chamber. Knock Out gave him his final once-over, with that little smile again. When he caught Soundwave's head cocked to one side, he smoothed his expression back out and waved his hand. "He's all done. I'll give you notice when it's time for his next one."

Soundwave decided that Knock Out was to be trusted, at least somewhat. He had no intention of leaving his son alone, of course but he'd felt Knock Out's enjoyment of the check-up, a harmless kind of affection for the sparklet he hadn't expected. Where had he learned this comfort? Knock Out had been a wealthy mech once, and they had once been the domain of the rich.

"I was sparked myself, you know," Knock Out said conversationally, as they left. Soundwave actually paused, and Knock Out smiled ruefully. "Such things don't matter now. I obviously wasn't a medic as a child, but the old records told me enough." Soundwave had never questioned that—if Knock Out could online a child sparked by dark energon, he could certainly handle giving needles.

Breakdown first got close during the followup. Sonata had reacted poorly to one of the vaccines, and had to be brought back early. He was too warm and crying far too much, not taking energon. Soundwave could only describe himself as frantic, much as he'd deny it to Laserbeak. It felt like a failure, to be unable to comfort him.

He allowed Knock Out to take him and gently push a sedative into his mouth, as Breakdown's bulk loomed over them both. He was smiling, too. What was this weakness that a newspark was pulling out of their medical staff? He caught Breakdown waggling his hand at Sonata when the medicine wore off, his optics following the big mech's every move.

"Been a long time since I saw one," Soundwave heard him say to Knock Out. "I didn't think Megatron could have a servo in making something...well. Cute."

"He won't be for long," Knock Out said, eyeing Sonata more critically. "I have no doubt his sire will order an early upgrade. Soundwave, your bond with him is _extremely_ strong. It would fade naturally, normally, but..." He shrugged. "We'll see."

Soundwave had not been thinking about when it would fade. It had become a comfort to both of them, and even to Laserbeak, He held out his arms, and Knock Out returned his son. Breakdown was still watching curiously, leaning in to get a better look.

As he was leaving, Soundwave recorded the conversation behind him. It would be useful to know who would most support his son—at the very least, who wouldn't mean to do him harm.

"Poor little guy," Breakdown said. "What a life."

"Soundwave is very attentive," Knock Out said. "I guess it makes sense, with the symbiotes and all...I'm not looking forward to that upgrade. He'll get bigger and smarter, with the parents he's got, you watch."

Affection from Decepticons! Towards something so weak and so small. A connection between sparks, based in love. Soundwave was worse than any softness Knock Out and Breakdown might show.

Starscream was no longer his concern. He had gone neutral, after a final failing that brought him safely away from Sonata and from their liege. Neither was Airachnid—one of Soundwave's last physical acts while carrying had been to force her into submission. Sonata was the talk of the drones, but Soundwave didn't concern himself with them. All they seemed to do was gossip.

He worked at his console that downshift, leaving Sonata to snooze on the berth with Laserbeak. They were curled together, Laserbeak's optics dimmed in rest. Sonata had begun to reach for her, too, and she claimed it almost made losing her spot worth it. Soundwave's life became a pleasant cycle of his work, his symbiote and his son, attention paid in turn to all of them.

Early one morning, he got a summons. Megatron had not called Soundwave to the bridge since he had been carrying, but it seemed like the time had come. Laserbeak was scouting for him, keeping their excellence alive. He looked down at Sonata, recharging against his front. He would be breaking an order today.

That was how Sonata first saw the bridge. Soundwave was certainly used to stares, but when dozens of them were trained on his son he found himself curled over a fraction, using his facelessness to keep the drones well back. He kneeled gracefully, without jarring Sonata against his chest.

"Ah, Soundwave," Megatron said, and for a second it was like nothing had changed. He lifted his head, and Sonata did too, prompting Megatron to scowl. Soundwave stayed where he was.

"I did not ask you to bring the boy," Megatron said. Sonata shrank back, and Soundwave struggled with himself to keep his body still, to keep himself from curling further over his son.

The message he sent was silent, and no one else's business. _There was no alternative._

Soundwave waited for an answer. When Megatron simply turned away, barking out an order to a drone about his mines, Soundwave simply stood and got to work. It took the drones much too long to tear themselves away, staring at Sonata, but Soundwave refused to look over.

Sonata peeked often, silent as his wide, wide optics settled on someone at work. As he got a bit older, a little more alert, Soundwave had seen him slowly learning focus. Soundwave tried to use their bond when he could, sending through as much affection and acknowledgment as he could through his task. It was imperative Sonata keept quiet. Soundwave could not guarantee his safety if Megatron grew too annoyed.

When word broke out Prime and his Autobots were in an energon mine, Megatron dented a console angrily. A team was called together, and Megatron brought As soon as he was safely away, Soundwave left too, shifting Sonata enough that he could look over his carrier's shoulder. It was a relief, because even focused Sonata was still a newspark. They were restless creatures.

By the time they were in their quarters again Sonata was fussing. Soundwave found the bottle he took energon from, because regular ingestion had been messy, and filled it as Sonata's cries rang in his audials.

Megatron's disdain still ran hard in his lines. But Soundwave brought his son more often to the bridge.

It would be many years before Sonata would be useful, in the military sense. Early upgrades or not, a child was a child. He had taken to playing recordings to his son, old ones of voices he wouldn't recognize. Soundwave certainly wasn't stimulating language centres with his silence and his comms.

"Who will you be?" asked a Tesaran radio broadcast. "What does the future hold?"

Sonata stared up, and smiled. Soundwave picked him up and pressed his visor to his forehead. Little hands skittered over him, and the bond pulsed warm. It was times like this when Sonata made him ridiculous—when Laserbeak was off the ship and he reminded himself that surveillance remained his alone.

 _You are worth keeping,_ he told Sonata, wondering how much of the message he could really bring home. _You are life I ignited._

Late at night, when Sonata and Laserbeak were deep in recharge, he would get truly unbelievable. He would call Sonata his little one, his symphony, his starsong. Where he had picked up such silly nicknames _starsong_ he didn't yet know. As recharge loomed over him he'd be embarrassed. Ashamed, even. His lord, his cause, would be disgusted with him and his feelings.

No one would ever know about starsong. Laserbeak understood, and she didn't tease him.

He was confident that Megatron had not set anyone upon him to survey his comms or his behaviour—Soundwave would know, and Megatron, better than anyone, knew that well. To try and spy on Soundwave was to want to be caught by Soundwave.

But if his lord asked for Soundwave's recordings of these nights, when Sonata knew he was loved, would Soundwave hand them over? He wasn't supposed to be coddled. It was entirely possible than Megatron would kill him one day, and be done with it. His attempt to bring Soundwave back into full usefulness.

He'd pull Sonata close, and sleep would escape him.

* * *

Megatron summoned him, and requested specifically that he come alone.

Sonata was left under Laserbeak's literal wing, sucking contentedly on his thumb as Soundwave left. It dampened his mood somewhat, especially since he'd been summoned directly to Megatron's chambers. Sonata had begun to take wobbling steps in the past few weeks, testing words out on his vocalizer. Knock Out had been pleased, because he was right on schedule. Soundwave, for his part, had been hoping time would slow somehow. Something to save Sonata from his upgrades.

Laserbeak would fill him in on the words Sonata tried (her name, to her delight, had been one of his first), so Soundwave arrived promptly. He didn't expect interface—it was clear to him that Megatron had lost his taste.

Megatron turned from his desk. Soundwave inclined his head, but didn't bow. Not when he had left Sonata behind, and they were lord and servant again.

"Soundwave," he said. "I understand activity from Starscream was detected on an isolated part of the planet?"

Soundwave nodded, and played back his best-quality footage from a sighting. The Seeker was likely scrounging for energon these days, and it didn't bother Soundwave in the least to see it. Megatron's fanged smile curled at him.

"I see. He has chosen his path." Megatron stepped past him, pacing in the way that meant something important must be spoken about. "I must speak with you about the boy."

He had never heard Megatron use Sonata's designation. He expected it would first leave his mouth in a few decades, when Sonata was an adult and fully trained. Soundwave tried not to go rigid in his lord's presence.

"You have, somehow, kept up with your duties," Megatron said. Soundwave relaxed. "You have failed to surpass them, as I normally expect...but you are otherwise engaged. Still, the cause has not suffered. I am satisfied."

That was enough, Soundwave told himself, like a prayer. That would be enough. Megatron regarded him, optics very bright. "Knock Out tells me the boy is taking steps. He is on the right track for an upgrade.

 _In some years._ Soundwave's message was simple, and sent as gently as one could send a comm. Normally he did this only in one of Megatron's rages. Megatron raised a brow, shifting his shoulders. He sighed, low and tired.

"I do not have _some years_ , Soundwave. The cause cannot wait. His mental capacity and his vocabulary will increase with upgrade—or so Knock Out tells me. I have commissioned the new frame already."

Soundwave's spark jolted. He remembered, months ago, when Sonata had been part of his spark and unnamed, and Soundwave had wished he could spring forth fully formed. Today, in this moment, he wanted his (their!) son to grow up, not be forced up. Now that he knew him, and could see the person he would become.

After a moment, he nodded his acknowledgment. Better alive, upgraded too early, than taken from him. Megatron turned away, his hands behind his back.

"Do not fail me, Soundwave. This is a precarious position to be in."

Soundwave inclined his head, and left without another word. He was entirely unused to having his position with Megatron insecure. It was doubly frightening now, because Sonata would be helpless without his protection. Laserbeak would suffer terribly if their bond was snapped, and probably unable to protect Sonata herself. Confident he was alone in this hallway, he allowed himself a shiver.

When he returned, he didn't ask if Sonata had learned new words. He simply scooped him up off the floor, pulling him close as he sank onto his berth. Laserbeak pinged him concern, and he responded with reassurance. She eyed him critically, but dropped the issue. Sonata's tiny hands tapped his faceplate. He had never once seemed unsettled with no optics to look into.

"Soundwave," Sonata said. The words were slow and careful. "Soundwave."

Soundwave pressed their foreheads together. When that upgrade happened, and Sonata could articulate, there were things to explain. Questions to ask, too, because Sonata was _very_ in tune with the feelings of those around him. Was empathy hereditary? Soundwave certainly hoped not—as a newly forged mech it had been very painful to get control. It was the reason he had never been an Academy bot and had fought in dirt pits instead. Maybe it would be diluted. That would be easier.

 _Very good, starsong,_ was all Soundwave could manage, primitive through Sonata's simple comm. _Keep learning._

Soundwave got back to work after that, deciding he'd allowed himself enough weakness. Laserbeak clicked into her place on his chest and Sonata slept next to them. There was a kind of domesticity there that Soundwave had been getting used to, where Laserbeak's spark pulsed with his and he could feel his son's sleepy contentment.

He didn't recharge that night, either. He lay there and pored through file after file, refusing to wonder how long he would have this unconditional love as it was. Before his lord came and took what he needed.

* * *

Things had changed aboard the ship. The kind Soundwave was used to, and navigated without trouble.

Breakdown and Airachnid were gone, and the only traces had been parts of Breakdown one always hoped stayed inside the frame. Knock Out hadn't betrayed any outward emotions about the incident, but Soundwave knew better, simply from proximity. Sonata did too, and it cemented his suspicions. His clever empath shivered visibly when Knock Out examined him, uneasy about the change in Knock Out's field. They would work on non-reaction when Sonata was older.

The sparklet frame Soundwave saw often, to ensure that it was suitable. It would be the same colour. No biolights, to avoid reminding Megatron of those optics any more than necessary. He would be in it for years yet, no matter how quickly Megatron wanted him capable. For now, it simply had to pass Soundwave's approval.

"I can do the first upgrade soon, of course," Knock Out grumbled. Soundwave had quickly adapted to being grumbled at. "But an adult frame? He'd snuff out! Our liege was _not_ happy to hear that, let me tell you, and—Sonata, put that down, it's not a toy."

Soundwave had the laser scalpel out of Sonata's hand before Knock Out had finished speaking. Megatron could have allowed him to snuff out. He hadn't, and Soundwave held tight to that thought.

"I want it," Sonata said in his little voice, turning to his carrier. "Soundwave?" Soundwave gave his head a slow shake. Not even for the most careful sparklet in the world—and he suspected his son was that.

He tried not to think about small sparks snuffing out. He hated, _hated_ avoiding his thoughts. They had always been something clear and immediate, to be dealt with, but things had changed.

He had seen little of Dreadwing since his arrival, Sonata's care keeping him relatively isolated. If Soundwave was forced to work on the bridge, as much of his work did require, he would feel the big Seeker's optics on him. He would feel them more acutely on his son, who was much more alert these days and stared even harder at interesting mechs.

His shift had some time left when Dreadwing pinged him politely. Soundwave acknowledged, but requested the time to finish out his shift. These days he no longer had time to spare. When time was up, and he was satisfied with his progress, he turned towards the big Seeker and nodded. He had rather liked the mech the last time they worked side by side, something Dreadwing wasn't likely to have picked up on. That had been eons ago, of course, but Dreadwing was devoted to Megatron and not unnecessarily cruel. (The latter trait tended to distract otherwise capable soldiers, if they were torturing neutrals outside orders or bullying drones. Dreadwing focused on the fight.)

He decided he still liked him when Sonata leaned forward, trying to get a better look. If he didn't like someone—more accurately, if he disliked their feelings—he shrank back or turned away. Soundwave shifted his weight in his arms, and waited as Dreadwing approached.

"I've been waiting to see him," Dreadwing said. He tilted his head, watching Sonata, and Sonata stared back. "Forgive me for being unprofessional. I have never met a newspark."

He didn't get too close, as Knock Out sometimes did. One unfortunate drone had once reached out to _touch_ Sonata, and Soundwave had almost made him part of the wall with the force of his throw. Sonata looked from Dreadwing to his carrier, and Soundwave nodded in reassurance. _Megatron's first officer,_ he told his son. _You are safe._

"Our liege didn't mention his presence," Dreadwing said, clearly having thought it over. "My new Seekers informed me of his existence." This no longer surprised nor bothered Soundwave. When Sonata was himself a capable soldier, Megatron would acknowledge him.

Sonata hefted himself up, holding himself on his arms so he could watch Dreadwing. Soundwave thought he saw the Seeker's lips twitch. Soundwave nodded, and wondered if he should go. Was that really all?

"I'd like to pledge my allegiance to our lord's heir," Dreadwing said. Soundwave went still. Sonata tensed, and made a noise that threatened tears. "He's already under your protection, of course" Dreadwing said quickly. "But if the arises, I would like it clear I will fight for him. I will inform Megatron as well-"

" _That is unnecessary,_ " Megatron's voice said to Dreadwing, who tensed. Soundwave elaborated, " _Your loyalty will be rewarded,_ " Megatron said, from one of the many times he had addressed Soundwave's work. Then Soundwave addressed him silently, over the commlink. _Thank you._

"I understand," Dreadwing said. He inclined his head towards Sonata, and to Soundwave's surprise, addressed him. "Your name, little one? I am Dreadwing."

Sonata blinked up at him, his optics wide. Dreadwing had not mentioned the colour, as nearly everyone did. "Sonata," he said. He looked very seriously at him, before lifting his hand in the best salute he could manage being held. Dreadwing's lips twitched again. Soundwave smiled outright, and he was eternally grateful for his mask.

"I am Dreadwing," he said. "You must count on your carrier—but I will protect you when I am needed."

Sonata rested his head against Soundwave's chest. Soundwave nodded once to Dreadwing, and turned to go.

Sonata was speaking more, and walking without trouble—he had proven he could read simple words recently. But his upgrade was only weeks away. He would be able to articulate his thoughts and voice real opinions, with the processor power necessary to do so. Soundwave had carried him, but his sire was all fire. Megatron's eagerness for action were what had gotten them in orbit above this planet, embroiled in an ancient conflict.

Soundwave shifted Sonata closer as they returned to their quarters. Dreadwing was loyal to Megatron. That was where any allegiance to Sonata stemmed from, and Soundwave must remember that.

Of course, if anyone had the merit to command loyalty, it was Megatron's own son. Soundwave had no other explanation for his son's continued existence—or Soundwave's love for him. So he took it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonata gets older. Soundwave does the best he can to keep him safe, and make him useful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to split this into two chapters, so as soon as I'm happy with the second bit I'll post it! Unfortunately Dreadwing won't be getting as much time in the fic as I might have set him up for-but as this is a story about Soundwave and his child, I'm not too torn up. Please enjoy!
> 
> EDIT: i'm a dumbshit and posted this newest one entirely without italics, it's fixed now. sorry!

"Let me see your face," Sonata said.

He was leaning on Soundwave's knee and smiling up, optics bright. On his shoulder perched Laserbeak, who regarded her master with her head tilted. _Yes, Soundwave. Let's see it._

Soundwave shook his head and returned to his console, but not without stroking his son's cheek. This was a game they played nearly every day. Sonata would look up at him, maybe tap his visor, and ask if he could see. And every time Soundwave would shake his head. Sonata would earn an affectionate gesture, and let his carrier get back to work. Sometimes he would press, and Laserbeak would make up some foolish excuse for him.

_He needs to polish his nose first. Or maybe he's making a face too stupid for you to see._

His son would laugh, and the sound reminded Soundwave he had no need for music.

Sonata's new body was still small, to accommodate his undersized spark. At full height, the top of his head reached just below Soundwave's waist. If one didn't know better, they could reasonably believe Soundwave had reproduced without help. His son would be lithe and smooth, completely unlike his sire.

Soundwave had watched his new optics online. He let him wake slowly—the transfer to a new body was always stressful. He had watched the new fingers curl, and the shoulders shift. Extra care had been taken in the transfer, but Soundwave's spark still eased with relief. Such an early spark transfer could have failed. Dark energon was always in the back of his mind, the idea of it poisoning his own son bringing him a rush of fear. The sharp cut to his carrier bond as Sonata's spark was moved had done nothing to calm his nerves.

Then Sonata looked at him, and his arms reached out in the way that meant he wanted to be lifted. It relaxed Soundwave more than anything else, and he reached out to give his son's forehead an idle stroke.

"My head hurts," Sonata said to him. "I want to go home." Then he stopped, and put a hand over his mouth. It would take time to get used to such a change in cognition. Soundwave had promised him that soon, starsong, they could go. For now: rest.

Megatron had not yet come to see him. He had been shy, so unused to his new frame, but he had managed to answer Knock Out's questions, and taken something to help him recharge. He woke up in their berth, with Laserbeak curled around his head to welcome him home.

The worst thing was returning to shifts on the bridge. Sonata could, technically, care for himself now, and Soundwave's lack of presence would be noted.

Sonata fretted at first, began to cry when Soundwave had started to leave. Soundwave calmed him eventually, with the promise that Sonata could comm him any time. Laserbeak stayed back when she could, but her duties had never changed, and often Sonata was completely alone. The little messages never distracted Soundwave from his excellence—he would read one, whatever it may be, and send a response.

_I'm reading about Vos. I'd like a flying alt._

_Have you ever seen a turbofox?_

_I don't understand this part of Towards Peace._

Soundwave never ignored a message from Sonata. Often he would tell him to wait, and that night Soundwave would answer him, but other times he could tell him that yes, he had seen many turbofoxes. That he could take another ration from the cache. That he loved him, and his shift would be over soon.

He rarely used his own son's name. _Starsong_ was for them, something indulgent and affectionate that Sonata loved. Laserbeak never used it, and reminded Soundwave, repeatedly, how private it must stay. Megatron disliked Sonata's real designation—they could forget nicknames.

Soundwave ignored her. If there was one thing he could do, it was keep secrets. _Starsong. Time for bed._

He recharged less—to keep up with his work and with Sonata, time had to be sacrificed. His son needed to be educated, face-to-visor, and in the evenings Soundwave would teach him everything he thought important. A couple hours of guided instruction wasn't enough, because Sonata devoured books. He learned with a speed Soundwave hadn't anticipated, and Soundwave slowed him when he could, to ensure there was more than memorization going on.

Still, it made him proud. Knowledge could keep him safe.

Reading didn't fill every long hour, especially those where Sonata was without company. Soundwave began to program small games for him alongside his work, simple puzzles to change his monotony. Some he lifted from Earth games that seemed harmless enough—Tetris was a favourite of both Sonata and Laserbeak. That particular datapad was far and away the most worn, and sometimes he had to insist Sonata give it back and recharge.

He found that children needed play. Soundwave had to truly squeeze out time for that, in a world composed entirely of war and work. Laserbeak could tire him out with roughhousing and chasing sometimes, and the austerity of Soundwave's quarters lended itself to a sparklet racing back and forth. He could earn a shrieking laugh from Sonata by lifting him high with his data cables. He did this rarely, and made it something of a surprise attack for good nights.

He suspected a sparklet needed more time to play than Sonata got.

Time passed this way. The domestic peace of their quarters became something Soundwave counted on every day. When he could, he would do his work from his room, to keep watch on Sonata himself. If many Vehicons had been called out, he could let him run up and down the halls.

Time and again, Laserbeak reminded him that Sonata could not spend his whole childhood locked up in his room.

 _Of course,_ Soundwave said. _But it's not safe for him yet._

_When will it be any safer?_

Before he could stew on this deeply, he was summoned. To his surprise, he also received a briefing packet—he had not done off-ship missions since before he was carrying. It seemed ridiculously long ago. But compared to the whole of his life, Sonata was hardly a mark on the radar. Clearly a very deep, powerful mark.

He stood up, and called Laserbeak to him. Sonata looked up in surprise from his datapad.

"You said you'd be home for the day," he said, and Soundwave felt guilt curl through his spark. He beckoned Sonata with one crooked finger, and Sonata rushed forward so Soundwave could pull him in close.

 _Lord Megatron has summoned us,_ he said. _We will be on a mission._ He ignored Laserbeak's indignation about being pressed down against his front—Sonata was much bigger than she was now. Sonata frowned up at him.

"But you said-"

_Megatron must always come before my word._

Soundwave pressed a finger to Sonata's lips. His son looked away, and the guilt churned his tanks. Soundwave gently turned Sonata face and pressed their foreheads together.

_Be patient, starsong. I am sorry. We will be back._

Soundwave would make it a certainty. He set Sonata down, stroking his helm as they went for the door. Laserbeak pulsed guilt back at him, and Soundwave took it in, merging it with all of his.

 _Do you see?_ She asked. _We can't keep leaving him alone._

He answered her with silence. What else was there to do?

As it turned out, the mission was a great retrieval. The Iacon relics Soundwave had attempted to decode had been found, and Megatron would be sending them after each one. The decoding could have been faster, of course. But Soundwave's priorities had changed.

He had doubts Knock Out could retrieve his alone (Insecticons didn't count), and they would have to see about Dreadwing. When Megatron turned to Soundwave, he grinned, his sharp teeth glinting.

"I trust you can leave the boy and complete your objective?" he asked, almost mocking. When had Soundwave ever been mocked?

He nodded once. Megatron watched him, then waved his hand in dismissal. He felt Laserbeak's hurt and wondered how much he was feeding back to her in response. Entering a groundbridge, and subsequently taking off to complete his objective, didn't feel as satisfying as it had in the past.

Megatron had full access to Soundwave's quarters. Sonata was not truly safe unless Soundwave or Laserbeak had optics on him, and now they weren't even aboard the ship if Megatron decided he would visit.

He didn't enjoy his first flight back out, though his t-cog had been neglected since he had carried. He had much bigger concerns.

 _Let's find the thing._ Laserbeak was anxious, her flight path erratic as Soundwave released her. _And get out of here._

In all, Soundwave felt he'd fought better than he had in years. He had always preferred to get to the point, but now he had even more of an incentive to keep this from being drawn out or overly violent. Losing communication with Laserbeak made him reconsider—he found himself in such a desperate fury to get her _back_ that he would have been happy to pound out anything that happened to cross his path.

The engineer-Wrecker, Wheeljack—he was a distraction from the objective. He finally succeeded in retrieving Laserbeak, who had been damaged enough that she could only ping him in questioning.

Yes, he had retrieved his relic. The Resonance Blaster, something he had found he quite liked. He would probably not get to keep it, of course. And Soundwave rarely had need of extra weapons.

He returned and was forced to wait through Megatron's berating of the others (who had failed, of course), as Laserbeak faded in her place and they thought of Sonata.

"—and only Soundwave has returned with something other than an excuse!"

Still, he felt pleasure course through him. That old certainty of his place in the world almost, _almost_ clicked back into its slot. He could have been at peace.

First he brought Laserbeak to medical bay. Knock Out proved his usefulness by discovering a _bomb_ (he imagined Sonata inconsolable, as Soundwave brought back only pieces of her), and Soundwave was forced to decode further before he could leave. Something was wrong with what he was doing—there were uploads he had not sanctioned, and he pointed this out to Megatron as he finally, _finally_ readied himself to go. Laserbeak would stay overnight, and Soundwave ached leaving her. No alternative presented itself.

"You have performed well today, Soundwave," Megatron said. It was the same sort of pleasure in Soundwave's work he had been used to, once. "I am relieved to see that one of my subordinates can still perform his duties."

Soundwave inclined his head. He should have been pleased. It felt a bit like when they had both been young, and Soundwave would smile under his mask as Megatron praised his work. That was the sort of night that would often end in Megatron whispering very different praise into Soundwave's audial, for considerably more than just his work ethic. He was hit with the shock that maybe this would also be one of those nights. Sonata had already been alone, locked away, all day and much of the night. He found himself willing Megatron not to ask him to the berth, and that had never happened before.

Megatron regarded him, his optics dark with thought. Soundwave waited.

"I have been very hard on you of late," he said finally. "I still lack all understanding for _why_ you insist on keeping that sparklett. But today…" He waved his hand. "I should have guessed you still had it in you. Dismissed."

Soundwave nodded in thanks, and he was stately as he left the medical wing. When he was certain Megatron wouldn't hear, he broke into a sprint, skidding at corners like Unicron himself was at his heels.

He was scanned, and the door unlocked. When he heard a thump he paused, and when he looked down he found Sonata, curled where the door had been with his knees pulled up tight. He turned quickly, and his optics were bright and crackling with charge, his shoulders shaking.

Sonata tried to say something, but he only produced a sob. Soundwave's patience reached its end. He scooped Sonata up and let the door close behind them, dropping onto their berth. Sonata curled up under his chin and shook. His grip on Soundwave's arm was surprising in its strength.

 _You didn't energize._ It wasn't an accusation. Sonata shook his head, and Soundwave could almost feel his son's headache as he felt his anguish.

Sonata shook his head. "I forgot," he said, his voice rough. He swiped a hand over his optics and Soundwave saw the crackling of static. Soundwave rested him against his shoulder, Sonata's legs dangling, and took them both to the cache. Sonata had done that himself since upgrade, but tonight Soundwave helped him hold the cube and made sure he took slow sips.

He didn't speak until he had drank it all, and his optics had dimmed to a healthier glow. It was deep in the downshift, and Soundwave curled around Sonata on the berth as they settled. He was home, and Sonata was safe. He would be safe.

"Where's Laserbeak?" Sonata asked. His voice shook. Soundwave stroked his cheek, feeling every bit of Sonata's sadness as his own.

 _Medical bay,_ Soundwave told him, and Sonata visibly jerked. _She's doing well. She misses you._

Sonata pressed closer. "People think she's a drone," he said softly. "The soldiers were talking about how she has no spark."

Soundwave almost sat up. He turned his visor on Sonata, watching him in silence until Sonata squirmed.

_Where did you hear Vehicons?_

Sonata was very quiet. He wouldn't look at Soundwave's visor, and Soundwave waited.

"I went out earlier," he said finally. "I went and walked down the hall and I listened to them talk. I don't think they saw me."

Soundwave cupped Sonata's face, so he would be looking at him. _Why did you go out?_ To leave was to cross paths with Megatron, or a soldier who thought sparklets were toys. _And the door didn't lock?_

Sonata forced his optics down, shaking his head. (Soundwave didn't believe that. Sonata was learning more than he said out loud.) He was quiet for a long, uncomfortable moment, and Soundwave was aware of him keeping something from him.

"I hate being alone," he said softly. "I came back, because I didn't know where to go, but I _hate_ it. You used to take me to the bridge. I remember."

 _Yes,_ Soundwave said. On reflex he pulled Sonata against his chest, rested comfortably under his chin. _Lord Megatron would be unhappy to see you._

Sonata frowned. "I'm unhappy just seeing our room," he said.

Soundwave didn't know what to say. Sonata had been gentle all his short life. He rarely gave them trouble or attitude, content to learn—or at least content to listen to his carrier. Now his optics blazed, and Soundwave knew that fire. He cupped the side of Sonata's head with his long fingers.

 _I am sorry, starsong,_ he said, and he meant it. _You are safer here. But locking you away was not the answer._

Sonata's optics flickered. Soundwave's tanks churned as he watched his silence. His optics began to dim, as they always did when he grew tired.

 _I just miss you,_ Sonata sent over his comm. Soundwave was taken by surprise—that was an old code they had been learning together, one he didn't think Sonata had caught onto yet.

 _I know,_ Soundwave sent him, in the same code. _Sleep, starsong. Tomorrow we will see Laserbeak._

Satisfied with that, Sonata did as he was told. Soundwave didn't recharge, content to lie against his son and feel the hum of his spark. Their bond, broken too early, still crackled on the edge of his consciousness. He missed that closeness, missed the ease with which he could look after Sonata's needs. He had been so easy as a baby, so simple to comfort.

When Laserbeak was cleared for duty again, Soundwave began bringing Sonata on his shifts.

The first day, he brought Sonata straight to Megatron. At his liege's raised brow, Soundwave nodded to his son, who bowed low and seriously. It would have been a comical sight without Megatron before them, and Laserbeak's alarm flooding them both.

"What is the meaning of this?" Megatron asked. He was calm today, for which Soundwave was relieved. Sonata straightened up, and Soundwave nodded towards him.

_His education. I am accelerating his study._

"And?" Megatron said. His arms were folded.

_He will see my duties, and learn them. He will observe the soldiers. He will be silent._

Megatron said nothing else. He provided them a slow, approving nod, and returned to his inspection.

From then on Sonata stood with his carrier on the bridge. If he was needed elsewhere, Sonata would trail behind, head held up and almost jogging to keep up with Soundwave's long strides. That was comical without issue—Soundwave almost liked eavesdropping on the Vehicon conversations later, about Soundwave's "little clone."

So be it. There was, in Soundwave's mind, no better role model for his own sparklet.

If Soundwave was forced to be truly engaged with decoding or surveillance (or Megatron simply wasn't around to see it) Sonata would pull out his own datapads and do work more suited to his age. He was silent and attentive when Megatron was on the bridge—but always asking questions over his comm.

Soundwave taught him as he worked: Decepticon history, increasingly complex codes, military formations. Sonata would, inevitably, be tested by by Megatron and he must know _everything_ Soundwave could give him. Fortunately, how much Soundwave could teach him was a lot. And Sonata was insatiable.

He would look at his son, cross-legged on the ground next to him, and remember a gladiator who sat the same way in his barrack. That mech pored over his poetry and his big ideas, before he began to distribute them and the ideas grew too big for just two mechs.

Dreadwing would stop by, mostly to speak with Soundwave about his progress or whatever task was at hand. He was purely professional, but he would always nod to Sonata. His son began to smile at Megatron's first officer, even wave shyly from across the bridge.

One day Soundwave looked down—and realized Sonata was not there.

Panic gripped him immediately, so much so that Soundwave had to take hold of the console. How had he gotten away? Why would he sneak away? Where—

His terror was interrupted by Dreadwing. He had one hand on Sonata's helm as he led him back, and Soundwave inclined his head in confusion. A question mark appeared on his visor, and Dreadwing glanced at Sonata.

"I wanted to see what he was working on," Sonata said.

"I am leading a raid," Dreadwing said. "You should know better." He couldn't hide his amusement from Soundwave, whose spark still pulsed with fear. Sonata was looking at him with sudden horror, and right away he tried to quell it.

He gestured towards Soundwave, who pulled Sonata gently to his side. He couldn't see his own face, hidden as it was, but he suspected the look it gave Sonata was more powerful than a screen.

"It will be a very long time before we're seeing you on raids," Dreadwing said to Sonata. He squared his shoulders and eyed Soundwave. "I pledged to protect Megatron's heir, and I suppose that includes keeping him by your side."

Soundwave nodded. Dreadwing turned to go, and from then on Sonata only waved. Soundwave began to find reasons to give him information when he was on the bridge, so Sonata could get closer. There were worse influences.

To Soundwave's disgust, Starscream returned. He bore gifts in the form of the Omega keys, and Megatron took them graciously. When Sonata was asleep, Soundwave and Laserbeak enjoyed the show of Starscream receiving a cortical psychic patch.

He wondered if he should warn Dreadwing against doing anything foolish—if only because Sonata liked him, limited as their contact was. He managed to do something supremely foolish before Soundwave could do so, and by the time an alarm was sounded, the Forge was gone. He rethought his idea of influences.

Sonata slept on. Dreadwing was taken care of, and Soundwave held his son until he had stopped trembling over it.

"We can't make Lord Megatron angry,"he said.

 _No,_ Soundwave agreed. _But I have rarely done that._

Dreadwing had sacrificed his cause for his family. Soundwave wondered every day if he would go any further.

"My goodness!"

Starscream said this with mock enthusiasm, as he looked Sonata over. He had chosen to show up in medical bay as Sonata was being looked over, and now he stood over him. Sonata steadied himself against Soundwave's leg, and stared up.

Starscream smiled. "It's still alive, I see. And _truly_ takes after his carrier."

Sonata stuck his tongue out as soon as Starscream turned away, and Soundwave tapped his helm in admonishment. Sonata frowned hard, but he did nothing else as Starscream chatted with Knock Out, lounged, and gave Soundwave multitudes of clips to file away.

"What do you do with the boy on missions?" Starscream asked, as Soundwave lifted Sonata down from the medical berth. Soundwave looked up abruptly.

"He stays in his room," Knock Out said, collecting his tools. "What, do you think this crew babysits?"

"He seems a little young," Starscream said, waving his hand. Soundwave chose that time to get going, hand on Sonata's back as Starscream went on about Vos and nannies.

"We're not _in_ Vos," Knock Out said irritably. "Soundwave wouldn't let anyone near him anyway, Megatron included."

The door closed. They began their walk home, Soundwave turning his gaze onto Sonata. His son looked away.

"He's the new first officer?" Sonata asked finally.

_Yes. We do not stick our tongues out at officers._

Sonata frowned. "But you don't like him. I don't even think Knock Out likes him."

_Yes. But we must often put up with those we dislike._

Sonata had not had much reason to have to _put up_ with others. Soundwave and Laserbeak were his comforts. He behaved himself around Knock Out and the drones, and he was healthily afraid of their liege.

"I miss Dreadwing," he said finally.

Soundwave could still hear Starscream's voice over his surveillance. He tilted his head towards his son.

_Dreadwing and Megatron both made their choices._

Sonata was quiet for the remainder of the day. When Soundwave received a summons, he put Sonata to bed and left Laserbeak with him.

Starscream had not been so worthless after all, it seemed. Soundwave straightened up, and went towards what he had always trusted in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Dreadwing, sorry about my dubious dedication to the canon of TFP. Thank you for reading! It really keeps me going and inspires me to write.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things fall apart, and Soundwave is caught between ancient loyalty and very new love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have tagged this appropriately but there is some optic/eye trauma here and some physical child abuse mentioned! Please use discretion when reading if these are things that will hurt you! (it's in the second half of the chapter, and don't worry, the physical consequences are small for a Cybertronian.)
> 
> This is a long chapter and a lot happens--please enjoy it!

Darkmount did not suit Earth. Until they had successfully cyberformed it, it would be all angles, all height, all metal on a soft dirty planet. This is what they had worked for. A true fortress, a New Kaon for Megatron to rule as a Decepticon lord. Soundwave at his side, as it always should have been.

A place for Sonata to grow up in, without the great confines of the _Nemesis_ to hold him.

It was easy to see the good mood Megatron had found himself in. A (supposedly) loyal Starscream at his side, Soundwave as reliable as ever, and Earth at his mercy. When Shockwave appeared, it might as well have been a New Year's eve back in downtown Kaon. The drones celebrated their sure victory in their new fortress, knocking back far more of the rations than normally would have been overlooked. For now, Soundwave concentrated on settling Sonata in. Megatron had allotted Sonata his own room here, adjacent to Soundwave's, but it went unused. Sonata preferred Soundwave's berth and the presence of sparks he knew.

Megatron, in his confidence, asked for a full report of Sonata's progress. This Soundwave created alongside his work. He heard nothing back about his son's advanced work—he began to wonder if Megatron was displeased. He still expected an early upgrade, a useful subordinate as soon as possible.

One downshift, he got a summons. At the same time, Sonata shifted and looked up, sleepy and confused.

"Megatron wants me...at his throne?"

Soundwave nodded. _We must not be late,_ he told him. Sonata relaxed; his relief that he wouldn't be alone was obvious. In the washracks he ensured his son was presentable, and held his fingers on his neck as they walked. A reminder to keep his back straight, to not cower and look afraid.

The Predacon was there, and Starscream, and to Sonata's great credit he did not flinch as he passed the beast (a beast with intelligent optics, but no one had asked Soundwave). Starscream's face curled into a snarl— _he_ had certainlystepped back.

Soundwave had never been much for admiring, but the red sunset over the red desert was pleasing. He inclined his head towards his liege's back, and Sonata did the same. His optics were too bright, anticipation barely keeping him steady.

"Sonata," Megatron said. "Come here."

Soundwave tensed, his fingers curling around Sonata's shoulder. He had never heard Megatron use his son's name. Megatron gestured him forward, and Sonata looked slowly from him to Soundwave. His optics were bright, frightened. Soundwave nodded.

Sonata straightened his shoulders and lifted his chin. He stepped up to that ledge, at Megatron's side. He had never spoken Sonata's name. And things were different now, with Soundwave far back and Sonata so close to the edge.

Megatron's arm came down, and Soundwave almost rushed him. His massive hand rested, gently, on Sonata's back. Sonata didn't quiver, but Soundwave's spark pulsed faster.

"What do you see?" Megatron asked. His voice was conversational, as if he was speaking with one of his officers, on one of his good days. Soundwave wondered what answer he would seek. Whether any answer would be the correct one.

Sonata vented in, then out. "Your lands," he said.

Megatron smiled. "Correct. You understand our place in this world, then, yes? To rule our lands, this planet we have conquered."

Sonata was quiet, and slowly he folded his arms over his chest. Far below, the ruins of the Autobot base continued to smoulder. "Your lands, not ours," he said again. Megatron's grin sharpened, for one half-second. Soundwave saw the flash of his sharp teeth. His fingers curled around Sonata's shoulder.

"Your carrier has been teaching you well," Megatron said. "Yes, I lead. But in our eternal empire, even I am not eternal. What happens to us all?"

"We die," Sonata said. His voice was still so small (he was _young,_ too young for this conversation), but it was more confident as he spoke. "Our sparks give out, and we rejoin the Well."

Megatron wouldn't, but Sonata didn't know that. Their liege's grip was tight and predatory, though he still smiled faintly.

"And you are my heir," Megatron said. "You are my spark, and you are young. You have many more years than I do. We will see how your education moves forward. But, Sonata-"

Sonata looked up. He met Megatron's optics, and Soundwave felt a rush of deep pride. He had carried himself well, his starsong.

"-one day, if you have proven yourself...well. That is still a long time away, isn't it?" Megatron glanced down, once more.

"Yes, sir," Sonata said softly.

"Indeed. Dismissed."

Soundwave watched his son turn and approach, still resolutely holding up his chin. Megatron turned away, without addressing Soundwave, surveying their territory again. Soundwave bowed, to Megatron's back, and watched Sonata imitate him out of the corner of his optic. Laserbeak sent them reassurance after reassurance as they left, because she felt Soundwave's sparkpulse out of control—

—and Sonata had started shaking as soon as they turned the corner, past Starscream's cold gaze. Soundwave picked him up with ease, and Laserbeak didn't complain about his legs shivering against her. They didn't ask Sonata if he wanted his new room or theirs, and Soundwave curled around his son, Laserbeak perched on the berth's edge.

Sonata was silent in the dark, long enough that Soundwave wondered if he'd fallen into recharge. He was considering doing the same, his internals still thrumming with nerves, when he heard Sonata speak.

"Soundwave?"

He onlined his visor, regarding his son. Sonata rolled over, his optics bright in the darkness.

"Let me see your face."

Soundwave sat up slowly. He would gently tell him no, and Laserbeak was already cocking her head to one side, no doubt thinking of something ridiculous to say about it.

Instead, Soundwave clicked the light back on.

_It is not like faces you're used to._

Sonata stared at him. Soundwave watched his optics go brighter, as he scrambled up onto his knees, his mouth open in surprise. Laserbeak went still. Soundwave reached over, stroking the top of her head, and she straightened up, obviously affronted by his amusement. Sonata reached out and pressed his hands to Soundwave's face.

"Can I-? Really see?"

Soundwave took Sonata's hands in each of his. He placed them on each side of his face, where the mask catches sat. He watched Sonata start in surprise as Soundwave let them unlock.

_Hold on._

He kept Sonata's hands in his, and lowered the visor into his son's lap.

Megatron had seen part of Soundwave's face. Someone once smashed the visor badly enough that you could see his mouth through the cracks. Soundwave could recall the intimate moment, where Megatron's hand tipped his chin up to examine the damage. He remembered how naked he had felt, and how he had stayed in his quarters until a new visor could be delivered.

Now he watched Sonata's optics flash, and widen. He had already seen a number of strange, unsettling things, but he had never seen three pairs of optics set in a long, thin face. They blinked and flickered in unison, and now Soundwave knew they were wide and vulnerable. With them flashed the biolights that stretched from his lowest optics to his mouth. All of his nuances, his expressions, were on display. He reached out with his spark, for whatever Sonata was feeling.

Sonata reached up and touched his cheek. Soundwave must have looked truly ridiculous, because Sonata's brows were knitted and he was smiling as if trying not to laugh. He almost slumped in relief, and sensed enough of Laserbeak to know she'd be grinning if she could.

"Do you see really well?" Sonata breathed, and Soundwave _smiled,_ right at his son, with nothing to hide it. His son, who could _see his face_ and all of the features that shaped it.

_I see everything I need to._ Soundwave stroked the finial on the side of Sonata's head, and his son leaned into the touch. His optics were still glued to Soundwave's face.

Sonata turned to Laserbeak. Soundwave reveled in his son's awe, his unbridled joy at the opportunity he'd been given. "Did you know he looked like that?"

Laserbeak huffed, holding her head up in pride. _I know everything about him. Always will._

There had never been a need to hide from his symbiotes. Ravage, long ago, had been first to see his face. Even Rumble and Frenzy, always mischievous, had effortlessly kept his secrets, and then Soundwave had to clamp down on his thoughts. They were gone, that bond snapped by death. They would have been delighted by Sonata.

Besides them, and now Sonata...well. He had looked around his protoform cohort, that first day on his feet, and seen their two optics to his six.

Suddenly he was aware of little hands holding his visor back out. He felt his son's alarm, and came back to himself. "You look upset," he said, and Laserbeak hopped closer, head tilted. She knew, of course.

_Put it back. Don't think in the past._

He obeyed, though despite it all Soundwave felt warmth in his spark. He clicked his visor back into place, and tension left his frame where he hadn't realized he had any.

He tapped between Sonata's optics. _Now, recharge. Sleep late today._

Sonata sighed, but he stretched out next to Soundwave again. He was no longer tense and nervous, the meeting with his sire forgotten after the highlight of the night. Their quarters in Darkmount were spacious, and the wide windows let in a sliver of dawn. Soundwave enjoyed his peace.

Late in the morning Soundwave woke, slowly. Laserbeak rested, clicked into place, and Sonata pressed into his side. The sharp, scraping sounds of battle pulled him to attention.

Slag.

Soundwave released Laserbeak, already wide awake, to report back on what was going on. The berth rattled, and Sonata sat up abruptly, optics bright. Soundwave wasted no time—they were under attack, and if the fortress fell Sonata would not be there when it did.

"Where are we-"

Sonata was cut off abruptly, the roar of Soundwave's groundbridge engulfing them both and depositing them back on the bridge of the _Nemesis._ Soundwave allowed himself an exvent out of relief. It was cowardly of him, to simply remove himself this way. He would have to think of something, some reason why he was needed on the ship in the midst of the battle, to direct troops or information. He could learn to make excuses.

For now, he brought Sonata back to their old room, and ordered him to _stay put._ From there he contacted Laserbeak, who confirmed: that the Autobots had survived, but he was not to worry. The Prime was nowhere in sight and they'd be making short work of the others. So said Lord Megatron.

He left Sonata, and stood in the hall. He had always trusted in the cause. Even now, the cause would shape his son in ways he couldn't begin to think about.

He opened a groundbridge again, and returned to his master.

* * *

Megatron's good moods quickly disappeared.

Optimus returned, as he always had. If Soundwave had been asked, he could have told his liege that—but Megatron must have known. How would he have not? A retreat was forced, and Soundwave barely escaped his new console as the organics brought the whole place down.

He watched in silence as Megatron roared in anger, smashing keyboards and screens and anything else he could get near. Soundwave didn't protest—his information, the thing that had shaped him, was backed up in his own drives and in his quarters. More irritating was the emotional assault, Megatron's undirected rage pressing down on his spark. Starscream stood with Knock Out, grumbling as he nursed a dented wing.

It was some time before they were dismissed, long enough that Soundwave released Laserbeak while Megatron raged. Sonata needed to be checked on, and Soundwave ached. When this was over, he would need repairs.

Finally, slumped over a console, Megatron waved his hand. "Out," he growled. "All of you out of my sight, for spark's sake."

Soundwave fell into step with the others, and Knock Out was already grumbling, rubbing where his paint had been nicked. Starscream rubbed his helm from his earlier encounter with Optimus.

"Soundwave can infect the whole ship and give the Autobots _vital_ codes, but we miscalculate _one_ factor and we have an entire bridge to rebuild!"

Soundwave managed not to look up, but he stiffened. How did Starscream know about that?

"Forgive me, Starscream," Shockwave said, "but it is illogical to complain about errors from months past. Much of the blame for today sits on you."

"How dare you!" Starscream sputtered, and now Soundwave looked up. He stared long enough for Starscream to get the message, and he fell back, stalking off down the first hallway. Knock Out, watching the whole exchange sharply, was next, pushing through the doors of the medical day. That left two of them—Shockwave's lab was just ahead, and Soundwave intended on his quarters.

"Soundwave," Shockwave said.

He suppressed irritation—and discomfort. Of all the many, many Cybertronians Soundwave had crossed paths with, Shockwave alone could not be read for emotion. Shadowplay, perhaps, as a result of the empurata that had shaped his face. Soundwave despised it. He had never much liked Megatron's partiality to Shockwave, either, but Soundwave had always been the best of them. Purely professional. He acknowledged Shockwave with a small nod.

"I understand you have given life to Megatron's heir," Shockwave said, inclining his head towards him. "It is unprecedented that our liege would allow such a thing. Illogical."

Soundwave opened a comm. It was best to treat Megatron's favoured engineer with respect. _Our liege allowed it. Long-term benefits of an heir are acceptable._

"It has been a long time since I saw a sparklet," Shockwave said. His optic, too large and too red, stared at Soundwave. "They were an interesting course of study early in the war—I assume he is cloistered?"

Soundwave acknowledged this, and struggled to quell the roiling in his spark. Shockwave expressed interest in every Cybertronian oddity, and he was something to be feared if he was given free rein to experiment.

"Goodnight, Soundwave," Shockwave said, finally turning down another hallway. "There is much for us to repair. Megatron's temper has…festered, in my absence."

Soundwave did not answer, seemingly intent on returning to his quarters and doing just that. He had made a decision: Sonata would not be anywhere near Shockwave, for any reason, until Soundwave was certain he could defend himself.

Sonata continued his forays out to the bridge. Soundwave always kept him close, though other officers were busy elsewhere and there were only Vehicons to stare. The occasional Insecticon chittered in their direction, but a sharp turn of the head from Soundwave was usually all that was needed to keep them at bay.

"I miss our Darkmount room," Sonata said to him one day, over the sound of rushing water in the racks. There was not quite enough room for one mech and one sparklet to wash, and there was always bumping of elbows and knees. Soundwave simply tapped his helm.

_There is no complaining when you are a Decepticon._

"Starscream complains all the time," Sonata said, as he washed his face. "Especially since he lost half his Seekers to the synth-en accident."

_And you want to be like Starscream, starsong?_

Sonata looked up sharply, and did not complain for the rest of the week. Laserbeak took one look at his scowl and began to shake with laughter, and Sonata wouldn't speak to her all morning.

Soundwave did not bring Sonata out on days Shockwave would be nearby. His single optic, staring with such interest, was too much for Soundwave to bear; Shockwave, engrossed in real work, did not seem to notice this. He kept him away from the Predacon, though the creature's optics blazed with intelligence and he appeared uninterested in Sonata. He was not surprised when it transformed one day, and spoke (Megatron no longer confided in him, and so Soundwave no longer provided him thoughts) but Sonata grinned with delight at the security footage Soundwave brought back of it all.

His son continued to learn, seeming to crave books like they were energon. Soundwave brought him the most interesting records he could think of, sneaking in the stories of old Cybertron that Megatron would hate. Soundwave lay low with his son, and Megatron did not ask about Sonata's next upgrade. Knock Out was much too busy these days anyway, helping Shockwave with the lifting and carrying of Project Predacon. Soundwave wondered idly what he would have to do to keep him here, so Sonata could be upgraded when the time came.

Sonata could not downloadhis lessons directly as fully-sparked Cybertronians did, so Soundwave would watch him devour the Golden Age histories line by line. The same swashbuckling, adventurous stories his sire had once romanticized and now railed against.

More practically, he loved the groundbridge and spacebridge that Soundwave often manned. Soundwave showed him each in and out as best he could, how one could rip through the fabric of the world and move them so quickly. The report on that he ensured Megatron saw, to see how already his son was proving useful. He heard nothing back. Megatron's single meeting with Sonata had gone nowhere, and the rule of _keeping out of sight_ was in full swing again.

A few times he went out, for reconnaissance or during skirmishes, but mostly he was on groundbridge duty. Sonata no longer protested so wildly when Soundwave left—he sulked, but Soundwave had proven he would come back. And as soon as he was in range, he would send his son a message, affectionate and assuring he'd be home soon. He would find a tired sparklet, optics flickering to stay awake, and wait until he dozed off before submitting his mission report. Laserbeak assured him that his parenting was improving. Soundwave bristled at her teasing, but allowed the thread of normalcy to keep them both grounded.

"Where are you going today?" Sonata asked. He sat on the berth's edge, legs swinging. Soundwave liked it like this, when Sonata could be childish and not serious and silent.

Soundwave turned to him, and showed on his visor the Nevada desert. Sonata nodded—he was familiar with that part of Earth. _Low probability of battle today._ Sonata's posture relaxed, satisfied with that.

He reached out, and stroked Sonata's face. _Be good._

Sonata frowned. The part where Soundwave left, he would never be pleased about. But he would be back in the evening, and had loaded new games and books for Sonata to occupy himself with.

He turned in the door and saw his son, already engrossed in one of the datapads. He turned to go, assured he would be met with a similar sight later. Sonata would put his book down and then hop to the floor, rushing Soundwave in his pleasure at having him back.

Soundwave had trusted too much in the odds, already wanting to come home to his son. There was a skirmish, which became a battle. For the first time in perhaps two million years, Soundwave was shot down, and fell _hard,_ into the crackling pain of Earth wiring. Laserbeak began to circle, shocked and already sending distress calls, but Soundwave ordered her to cease.

_Sonata,_ he told her. _Home._

Laserbeak listened. By the time the world went dark for Soundwave, and Autobots were looming, she was flying, requesting a groundbridge and (against Soundwave's orders) reinforcements.

He awoke, aching, strapped to a table in a primitive warehouse. He snarled at the stares, satisfied in that no one could see.

"Can Soundwave talk?" he heard a voice say. The human pets were set off to one side, safely away from the dangers of a Decepticon. Soundwave had long ago proven himself dangerous.

Another human—the clever one—was staring hard. "I'm not even sure he has a _face._ "

Something not for them to know, of course. And he _would_ fight if the medic decided to pull it off him. The old medic surely remembered when Soundwave still spoke, when he still fought in pits, how they would talk to one side as Orion and Megatronus shared their great ideas. He made no mention of it now as he prepared for surgery.

"Soundwave, we have treated you fairly," said Optimus. He _was_ correct—by Decepticon standards, Soundwave had been downright pampered. But he had not yielded, of course, and he would not even under Megatron's high standards of torture.

Of course, the fairness would end if he didn't comply. He imagined Autobots trying to torture him with their primitive tools, in front of these organic children. The thought made him grin so wide that he felt the need to double-lock his visor's catch.

Sensing the inevitable, he played with them instead. Was childish, and insulting, and enjoyed every minute of holding them off. Eventually Ratchet stepped in, spitting out that Soundwave was no ordinary Cybertronian; they should simply open him up and get it over with. Soundwave turned his head towards him. The medic did not flinch.

He could take the pain, of course. But he had always carried things, more vital than the Autobots could ever know. It was not the first time he had crashed his own drives. Much of what he contained was backed up, but the most sensitive information he had kept to himself. Much of Sonata's first days alive, his tiny frame and his bright optics, he had kept close to him. Sensitive data, too powerful to back up. Slipping into unconsciousness again, he had to rely on his natural memory banks. He tried to ensure they would be his last memories, if he did not wake up.

* * *

He did not come to again until he felt Laserbeak's presence, her reactivating him with life-giving codes and a sharp scolding.

He should have known better. She would have come eventually, Megatron or not, but her speed proved that Soundwave had been sent for. The biggest Autobot, and the one he'd once dragged back for an Omega Key, were easily dispatched—Laserbeak's glee at their reunion improved her aim, and she gave Soundwave the chance to grab Ratchet and _drag,_ towards a timely groundbridge. He was light, for a bulky old medic. Even aching and wobbly as he was, Soundwave took him through, Laserbeak zooming behind.

_Sonata is worried,_ Laserbeak urged him. _Hurry._

Soundwave could say he was pleased, besides that. His performance had been exemplary, and his lord would be pleased too. Soundwave had turned his captivity into a victory, proven himself as he always had. He assisted in persuasion, proving as always that intel was mightier than strength. The medic yielded at the threat to the humans, but beyond that Soundwave only paid the attention he needed to. His spark was aching to be away from Megatron's side.

Ratchet watched him with a hard gaze as he was led away. Soundwave met it steadily, before turning to go himself. Megatron's most loyal one as always, and free to find his son.

He pinged Laserbeak, long flown ahead, and was surprised to have no answer. Not even admonishment for being so foolish, something she reveled in giving—

—In the next hallway, pressed against a wall, was Sonata, holding an optic in place with one hand and clutching Laserbeak with the other.

Soundwave did not speak, did not send any comms. Laserbeak's terror and Sonata's pain gripped his spark, so hard that he almost staggered. He was at the medical bay doors, both of them held tightly, Sonata's energon trickling down his arm, before he came back to himself.

"What in the- _Primus,_ " Knock Out managed to say as Soundwave set his son down and tipped his chin up. Laserbeak circled them, much too fast, and Sonata's sobs burned through Soundwave's spark.

Knock Out did not ask what happened, busy coaxing Sonata's hand from his face. It took Soundwave's grip and Sonata lying flat to do it, revealing exposed optic sensors, stick inner energon and an impressive dent in Sonata's face.

"Do you know who?" Knock Out said finally.

Sonata's optic was already cleaned out, the space safe to work on. In his next movement, he had pressed a small cube of sedative between Sonata's lips, holding his mouth closed so he would swallow. Soundwave shook his head once.

_He wouldn't say!_ Laserbeak was speeding around above them, and as Sonata slipped into light stasis Soundwave held out his free arm. She landed, and he could feel the shudder of both her plating and her spark. _Shouldn't have left._ You _should have gotten out by your own damned self._

Soundwave wanted to soothe her, and tell her that, no, every failure here was his own, but he couldn't seem to find the message in him. Knock Out was already removing the damaged sensor, snapping his fingers at a bright-visored drone for a fresh one.

"We haven't had a public execution in years," Knock Out mused as he worked. "If Starscream finally lost it…maybe some drone decided to take a swing…He's lucky it wasn't worse."

His speed was impressive—already the new sensor was installed, and a cover for the optic was prepared. "I'll get the dent out tomorrow, when you're _all_ coherent. His self-repairs will do the rest. He looked up, optics hard as they regarded Soundwave. "Someone took advantage of your absence. What a fine mistake they've made."

He didn't answer. He and Laserbeak sat in silence, as the medical bay was shut down for the night and Sonata's stasis became true recharge. Laserbeak told him that Sonata had done well, even when Soundwave had been late, with Laserbeak's presence nearby.

Deep into the downshift, Sonata's optics flickered online. He reached up, reflexively, to touch his face, and sagged when he found his optic repaired, where it was supposed to be. Soundwave moved slowly and gathered him up, feeling Sonata's deep shudder as he did.

"You're alright?" he whispered, pressed against Soundwave's chestplate.

Laserbeak lifted her head, leaning forward to nuzzle Sonata's cheek. _Sh. Of course he is._

Soundwave could have enjoyed the quiet of this moment. His son, and his symbiote, close against him in the dark where he could keep them safe. But his spark still thrummed with terror, with _rage_ over what had happened to his starsong. He had not yet looked at the security cameras, not in the darkness as he waited for Sonata to heal. He onlined his visor and nodded, and Sonata shivered.

"I left our room," he whispered, and Soundwave stroked his face, spindly fingers moving down from his optic to his lips. He felt Sonata's guilt, and soothed it, certain that he could feel that Soundwave wasn't angry, wouldn't punish him. Sonata pressed his cheek closer to Soundwave's chest. "Laserbeak was taking so long, and you were _gone…_ I went to the bridge to ask if you were okay."

Soundwave stiffened, and Laserbeak shot him a warning not to frighten his son. As if he hadn't already, with this kind of energy swirling around them.

"Lord Megatron was in a bad mood," Sonata said softly. "I don't think he meant to throw me, but he's…big. So I left, but I couldn't see, and…" Another shiver, and Sonata's small fingers reached for Laserbeak's head. She pressed closer, as if she were Sonata's symbiote and not his carrier's.

_Lord Megatron has moods,_ was all Soundwave could think to say. A sharp feeling from Laserbeak quieted him for another moment, stroking Sonata's face. Megatron had never struck Soundwave, not since they'd stopped sparring. Soundwave would not have been so willing to bare everything if he had feared for his spark as Starscream did. So he had told himself.

Sonata stared at him. "I'm gonna stay away from him," he said. "I promise. From now on, but…"

_We won't leave you,_ Laserbeak told him. _He won't hurt you again._

Soundwave wanted to promise Sonata that he would keep him safe. As he always had. But he had failed—what would he do if Autobots came calling? No matter what happened, he couldn't always stay close. That was as much a part of keeping Sonata alive as was physical presence.

"Let me see your face," Sonata said sleepily. Soundwave set him gently, back on the bed. He shook his head.

_Sleep, starsong. We will not go._

Sonata's optics dimmed eventually. Laserbeak's as well, and she curled near him on the berth, against the damaged side of his face. She apologized, silently, to Soundwave, and Soundwave sat in quiet.

The following night, as Sonata and Laserbeak slept, Soundwave went to Megatron.

Megatron was working late, really working—a rare occurrence these days. The progess on the completed synth-en had him obsessednwith his new world, and he was closing a call with Shockwave when Soundwave arrived.

Megatron didn't turn, slowly closing down the console. Soon he would be recharging. Then, preparations for an inevitable Autobot rescue would begin. Soundwave didn't bow, or incline his head. He stood, straight, waiting for Megatron to regard him.

"Soundwave," he said finally. He stood and turned, took a slow step forward.

Soundwave looked at Megatron's hands. Pushing Soundwave's wrists to a bunk in Kaon, skimming over his back in a space station, pressing him painfully to a berth on the Nemesis in just the way Soundwave needed. Soundwave had always let Megatron take what he wanted, pleased in the knowledge that he was Megatron's most loyal one. That he could be so rewarded by his liege.

This same lord, Soundwave's epic, four million year focus, now regarded him coldly. His hands twitched—the hands that had thrown Sonata so hard that his optic had shattered out of his face. Soundwave was silent, onlining his visor. He showed Sonata's shudders, his sobs, the sickly pink of his spilled energon.

Megatron raised his brow. "I assume that he's learned his lesson about how to address his lord?"

Soundwave onlined his visor. The clip he played was recent—from Darkmount, when Megatron had welcomed his son (their son) to his side and gestured to his future lands. _Lord and sire._

"I do not _care,_ " Megatron snapped, "what I have sired."

His voice was ice, the way he spoke to Starscream after insolence. The way he snapped at restless, useless troops. Soundwave wanted to fall to his knees, beg the same way he had to keep Sonata. Things had gone well. He decided on straightening up a fraction, the way he had in the pits. Minute enough to make his opponent believe he was harmless. He thought things had changed.

Megatron lifted his hand. He held it in the air, and Soundwave felt every feeling Megatron had ever had.

"I have given you every chance," Megatron said finally. His hand lowered, back to his side. "You have continued to do well, Soundwave. But you have gone…soft, as well. I will allow him to grow up—but I am ordering an upgrade. Any future insolence will result in worse than a cracked optic."

Soundwave was ready to go. He had had enough of four million tarnished years, and what his reward had been. As he nodded once, pain coursing through his spark, Megatron spoke again.

"The big push is coming, Soundwave. I suggest you prepare to renew your loyalty."

Soundwave left. There was no roar of anger, none of Megatron's bulk and dark energon poison following through a sliding door. No violence. He had not quite lost his place.

He grieved for Megatronus.

* * *

The world and the Autobots closed in. For now, Soundwave stayed home.

His son, unaware that an adult frame had already been commissioned (one he would have to wait on anyway, if his spark wasn't going to snuff out), continued reading, and studying. Always in sight of Soundwave, often pressed against his legs. Cross-legged on the floor, reading books much too old for him.

They'd play their game, though Sonata already knew Soundwave's secret. Laserbeak's teasing now included talk of even more optics, hidden, endless ones, a thought that made Sonata relax and giggle. Soundwave assured him that the six he had seen were it. The sight of Starscream's armada, off to war, didn't seem to disturb him as they passed by their window.

Megatron had continued to let them be since their confrontation. Laserbeak was detected outside the ship, her signal clear. Soundwave glanced at her from his screen, dozing against Sonata. He had not sent her out since his rescue.

She was affronted, as she transformed against Soundwave and they readied to go. _Someone made it up. I'm never so careless._

Sonata didn't protest—it was only a briefing—but he shuddered as the door closed. Soundwave, and Laserbeak, pushed the thought away.

As it turned out, she had, though it went unpunished. A piece of her had been left behind an engineered into a trick. Laserbeak's silence had earned her more safety than Soundwave himself, and Starscream had fumbled again in destroying their enemy.

Starscream turned to glower at Soundwave was he left. Soundwave provided him with a comm (a luxury the Seeker rarely got). _Coordinates were not enough?_

He wished Megatron could know why, exactly, Starscream stomped off with more anger than before.

"Where are we going?" Sonata asked later. Soundwave had him against his shoulder, his pace brisk as he took them deep into the ship. There had never been good reason to take his son down here before. Now Sonata wiggled in frustration, because his family wouldn't answer his questions and Soundwave knew he would rather walk.

_Be still,_ Laserbeak said, shifting uncomfortably under Sonata's legs. Sonata sighed, but listened.

Laserbeak didn't like this. Soundwave had insisted that she just _listen_ and she had yielded. This was too important for argument.

The shuttle bay was an underused facility, because Megatron despised retreat. Soundwave found the one in best condition and wiped dust from the handle.

The door was sliding open when Soundwave heard the first explosion. Sonata shuddered, and Laserbeak snapped to attention, off Soundwave's chest as soon as Sonata was set down. His head darted around, optics too bright as he gripped Soundwave's wrists.

"Are the Autobots here?" Sonata asked. His fingers shook—he was clearly trying to read his carrier's emotions, decide how to feel, but Soundwave was locked down. Sonata was anxious enough.

Soundwave nodded, already halfway through setting a stasis time and destination. He reached out and cupped Sonata's chin, turning him gently towards the console. He pointed at the buttons that needed pressing, in order. Sonata nodded, optics so very bright, and Soundwave memorized every feature, recording it on his personal drives.

Sonata looked at him, and as Laserbeak landed on Soundwave's arm he was scooting back, making room. Soundwave shook his head. As Sonata's expression changed, and another explosion rattled about them, Soundwave leaned down and pressed Sonata's forehead to his. He tried to make what Sonata was feeling good, affectionate. It didn't work, and he knew he was registering the guilt and pain just as much. His clever empath.

"Aren't you coming?" Sonata finally asked, his voice very small.

_You're not._ Laserbeak was incredulous. _Soundwave—_

_If I am not back in a quarter cycle, go. If the battle gets too close, go._ Soundwave pointed again, in order. _I must serve our liege._

"But—you said—you said you wouldn't leave!" Sonata's optics had gone wild. Blue or not, they were all his sire's, fiery with injustice.

_I love you, my starsong. I will see you very soon._

Sonata gripped his wrist so hard that he left dents, and Laserbeak was silent in her anger as Soundwave pulled Sonata from him, and set him back. He pointed, firmly, at the buttons again. Then he stepped out and he locked the shuttle door.

_Loyalty,_ Soundwave told Laserbeak, over and over as they left, back towards the bridge and the fight. As she threatened to leave him forever and stay with Sonata, and why wasn't _she_ staying with Sonata, you fool? Turn around!

He would not have forced her to stay with him, but she did. She believed him when he said he would return. He always had.

Loyalty. Loyalty to Megatron would keep Soundwave safe, and proving it tonight would cement their bond again. Sonata would be safe, again, until the next big push. Soundwave had trusted in one that thing for four million years.

Instead a child, a clever organic with quick fingers and eyes bright like Sonata's, played Soundwave's own trick. A game well-played, and the price high.

Laserbeak was proven right, as she always had been. He was made a liar to his son, as the world fell away and the Shadowzone enveloped them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could probably leave the fic here and call it a day, but I like you guys a lot and I have future plans, so that won't happen! Thanks so much for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave and Laserbeak pass time in the Shadowzone. Thoughts turn elsewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one, especially after that last big chunk! But it is something.

This other place, this Shadowzone, had no exits. No hope of exits, if Soundwave's information network had been snapped so cleanly from his consciousness. An unfamiliar emptiness swirled in his spark and his processor. His only solace was that Laserbeak was here, reachable, even when she flew out of sight to scout for an escape.

_No exits,_ she'd say, over and over. _It's too small. No place to go._

They couldn't reach the energon stores. Soundwave had his doubts that they would be viable anyway, but anything at all would be a step closer to survival. To Sonata.

He had failed Sonata.

Laserbeak grew hysterical the further she tried to fly, the more she was bounced back with nothing to show for it. Soundwave struggled with the consoles, but they were worthless metal hunks. Laserbeak grew so agitated that Soundwave had to grab her out of the air, and hold her in place until her shuddering stopped.

_I will not rot here,_ he told her. _Save your strength._

_We're already rotting,_ Laserbeak snapped. _Sonata is dead because we're in here rotting._

Soundwave turned off his visor and refused to respond. They both dozed off, their chronometers unable to work out for how long. Laserbeak apologized when they woke up, in silent anguish, and Soundwave accepted. She was all he had left. The one thing that had, in fact, stayed true.

He had studied this place briefly. He and Megatron had mused on its effectiveness as a torture, but it was too unpredictable, too hard to monitor. Shockwave had been quite interested in Soundwave's research, but he had guarded it dearly. Dislike aside, now he wished he had released the work. Shockwave did tend to come up with answers. Maybe he would not be stuck now, sitting cross-legged on the floor of a phantom ship.

Laserbeak grew restless first, delirium setting in from energon deprivation. She sent near-incoherent messages about Sonata, about hunger, about Rumble and Frenzy and their old tricks. Soundwave opened a line on his body and nicked one under her head, a data cable filling the gap. She siphoned until she was closer to herself.

_Stupid. You have to live._

Soundwave stroked her head. _Impossible without you._

_I am not someone's carrier._

Sonata was an endless ache. Soundwave replayed his terror, his betrayed little face, over and over as he remembered locking a shuttle door and turning his back. The Shadowzone was his punishment for that. He deserved it, but maybe Laserbeak didn't, and whenever she grew too weak he gave her all he had left.

Mostly, they slept.

There was no other way to fill the time, whatever time meant now. It could have been an hour since the human bested him. Maybe a week, maybe months. Maybe eons. Cybertron could have risen and fallen and Soundwave would not know, here in this phantom world.

Had Megatron found his son as they regrouped? Had Shockwave or Starscream? Autobots, perhaps? Maybe he had never been found. Maybe his shuttle had deployed properly and crashed. Maybe he was long dead, and Soundwave would not even see him in the Well. Maybe the Well was not for mutant, trapped sparks such as his. Each scenario he played through, in great detail, until great shudders wracked his body and could not be stopped. Laserbeak's panic only drove him on, until he blacked out and came to again.

He remembered the weight in his arms, of his starsong, and the shuddering began all over again.

Time must have passed, because his energon reserves began to fade—the serious ones, as the usual fuel tanks had been drained long again. He stayed curled on the floor, cross-legged, Laserbeak held against him. She was conscious less often, and Soundwave had less to provide.

Later (when? He genuinely could not place it) he got a comm.

By now Soundwave had been forced to lie back, lifting his arms the best he could do. But the message, a polite acknowledgement to open his channels (such standard practice!) made his visor online so quickly that Laserbeak actually woke. She managed to say something biting, too, the most normal-sounding thing Soundwave had ever heard.

_It's about time we went crazy._

Her head fell forwards again, but she kept herself awake. Soundwave pressed his hand to her (she had long been unable to transform) to hold her in place as he sat up. It was labourous, sluggish, and he wondered how long he had lay there, in terms of the real world and real life.

He opened his comm. He did not recognize the signature, but if it had been Megatron himself he probably couldn't have guessed it now. Whomever it may have been, they requested his coordinates.

Soundwave would have laughed, vow of silence or not, if his vocalizer had been near functional. What coordinates? Hell itself had never been mapped out.

_Unable to comply,_ he sent back. _Functioning improperly._

His contact asked again. Soundwave decided to try the coordinates of that very bridge, the original _Nemesis._ There was nothing else.

Nothing came back to him. He lolled his head back, and began to decide that Laserbeak had been right. They were losing their minds, perhaps after a longer period than the average mech, but certainly on their way out. Soundwave decided that his last thoughts would be good ones. His symbiotes—all of them—and Megatronus. Sonata. A couple of Earth years, orbiting a backwater and feeling love he did not deserve, from his last symbiote and a tiny, gentle spark.

There was the familiar sound of the world yawning open. Soundwave sat straight up at the sight of a groundbridge—a real one, not a hallucination. The crackle of ozone in the air was too clear in his senses.

There was another ping to his comm, in the simplest of binary.

_Hurry._

Soundwave found the strength. He had been a great gladiator, a formidable warrior and frightening mind. He could pick up a little symbiote and stand, shaking, taking step after step towards his salvation.

Halfway through the groundbridge he fell to his knees.

He could feel it, real air from the world on his visor. His offlined it, and his thighs shook as he tried, and failed, to stand up again. To be trapped midway in a groundbridge, drained of energy…it would be worse than the Shadowzone. There would be no peaceful dying between worlds.

Then he felt hands under his arms, lifting him, dragging him those last feet. The groundbridge closed behind him and Soundwave felt his feet drag against real floor. Real atmosphere enveloped him, welcoming him into the world again.

He looked up, and a young face, visor over their optics, stared down. Their jaw dropped in shock. They were lithe and angled, limbs long, deep blue plating and long, delicate finials on the sides of their head the spitting image of—

Soundwave tried to speak, but he produced only static. He reached out one shaking hand, as Sonata gasped his name, and he lost his grip on Laserbeak. There was darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have assignments to finish SO you guys will be left with this for awhile. The upcoming part is the very last one! There were a lot of wonderful comments on the last chapter and I can't tell you how much I appreciate them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soundwave gets to know the world again, and all that he has missed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, this is the end! This took longer to complete due to real-life responsibilities, but I'm really happy to share it with you. Thank you so much to all of you who followed me through this little story. I hope it was worth the little wait, and enjoy!
> 
> (Some characters not necessarily focused on before show up in this final chapter. They've gone untagged for a little suspense!)

Soundwave woke slowly.

He curled his long fingers, and twitched his heavy, tired feet. He didn't online his optics, or his visor, trying to register the dull processor ache and the weight that seemed to have lifted. It dawned on him that his energon reserves had been replenished—he felt odd because he was no longer dying, deep in the Shadowzone.

Presences reached him, familiar but not and stabbing straight through his spark. One was surely Laserbeak's, and her weakness was the push to make him online fully. Unconscious, re-energized, but so very faint. On instinct he reached out, to her, and someone took his hand. And he remembered.

Soundwave sat up so fast that his head spun, and a figure (no, Sonata, _his_ Sonata, his starsong), steadied him, guiding him gently down again. He became aware of the small, sunny room, the thermoblanket over his legs…and shelves, floor to ceiling. Stuffed to overflowing with books and notepads. Soundwave had never owned so many datapads in his life.

"Don't move too much," Sonata said. Soundwave took in the voice, nothing like the sparklet he'd known. "You were repaired and re-energized, but you need rest. You were…" Sonata paused. Now his vents hitched. "You were gone a long time."

Laserbeak was at his other side, wires and tubes from far more places than was comforting. She was still—but alive. Soundwave looked, slowly, from her to his son. He would catch himself looking past that frightened face, waiting for his sparklet to run in and ask what had takenhim so long.

Sonata's hand shook in Soundwave's as they watched each other. Soundwave could take in the details now, of this adult son he had not seen grow up. A blue visor (to hide what?), long (normal, fully jointed) fingers, wings pressed against his back and angled down (completely unlike a Seeker, thank Primus).

Handsome, sharp features and a tall, lithe frame. Not so skinny as Soundwave had become, but _tall._ Maybe able to meet optics with his sire.

Soundwave's vocalizer spit static, and he registered Sonata's panic just as he found the words.

"Sonata," he murmured, in his real voice. Unmodulated, hoarse. "Starsong."

Sonata went stiff. His mouth twitched, and his expression screwed up in anguish. It hit Soundwave in a torrent and he reached out. Sonata's head ducked down and he shook, taking Soundwave's other hand and steadied on the berth by his elbows.

Soundwave didn't register anything else. He couldn't. Overcome by the real, living world and his beautiful, grown son, he went silent again. He waited for both of their shaking to stop.

* * *

It took some time for coherence to return. In the time Soundwave spent lying down, hands clasped in Sonata's, Laserbeak did not wake up. He realized that this must be Sonata's own room, his own berth. His books, lining every available wall and piled up where they didn't fit on the shelves.

He also realized that this was not Cybertron, that this was a human-built warehouse he was resting in. It was Earth sun that blazed through the wide window. He kept his questions to himself. Sonata was still slumped, head bent over Soundwave's hands as if in prayer.

Finally Soundwave eased his hands away, and Sonata looked up. Slowly, his son sat up, and stood. He crossed the room to a counter, and poured energon on out slowly. Small cubes of low-grade, something Soundwave could keep down.

Soundwave reached for the clasps on his face, and Sonata watched in silence as he removed his visor. He set it on his chest, six optics blinking in slow unison. There was no Laserbeak to tease him as he did. He knew they must be wide as Sonata approached him, settling back into his seat. He reached out for one of the cubes—and his hands shook, clacking against its sides. Weakness, from years—years!—without real energy.

Sonata tilted his head up and helped him drink. It had been a very long time since he'd taken energon without a siphoning straw, or an injection. It didn't matter.

After, Sonata drank his own in silence. Soundwave could not quite pick out what he turned into, but it was almost certainly an Earth mode. When Sonata was finished, Soundwave raised a brow.

_This place?_

"Oh," Sonata said, looking around at the room. "Yeah. I've been on Earth a long time."

Such a soft voice. Certainly not inaudible, but shy. It had been so long since they had spoken to each other, and his son had grown without him. In other directions.

Soundwave reached, with shaky fingers, back towards his visor. Sonata was there in an instant, helping him set it back in place, clips locked in. When it was in place, Soundwave met his son's gaze with a red, glowing question mark. Sonata smiled. He reached over, to Laserbeak's little berth, and stroked the top of her head.

"You missed so much," he said, and Soundwave's spark skipped. "Not just with me," Sonata said quickly, turning his way again. "Cybertron's alive. People are coming back."

Soundwave tilted his head towards the window. Sonata shrugged, looking out at the desert sun.

"Ratchet took me in," he said finally. "He—how do you look so surprised with that visor? He lives here."

Soundwave had never imagined his son as social, in their old world, but he had never had reason to imagine their future. Keeping him alive had been enough. On his visor, he brought up an image of old Cybertron, one teeming with life in the war's early days. Sonata smiled.

"I've been," he said. His fingers no longer twitched so much; he was beginning to relax. "Plenty of times. I don't think I'll ever quite fit in. Ratchet says we're alike."

So the old medic did remember. That, Soundwave supposed, was something.

Sonata deserved normalcy. Sonata deserved affection, and friendships, and real education. All things Soundwave had never had, not in the normal way. He looked normal enough. Tall and lithe, but well-proportioned. He had clearly not been in his final frame long, with the way his limbs gangled and his wings twitched. But...he had been taken in. Cared for. By an Autobot (and there must be more to that story), but he had made it this far.

_You should not have been alone._

Sonata tensed, looking away, and his pain curled in Soundwave's spark. Laserbeak would have pushed him to a better apology, a real one, but her spark pulsed so weakly. As he turned back to Soundwave's steady gaze, a soft _click_ pulled back his visor, and-

Soundwave stopped. Sat up on his elbows to get a better look, and felt the urge to pull off his own mask to be certain of it. Sonata was lucky. He was a sparked mech with flight codes, could choose any form he liked if his spark matched the size.

Two pairs of blue optics flickered out at him, the lower row narrow and angled beautifully on his face.

"I forgave you a long time ago," Sonata said quietly. His hand reached up, seemingly without thinking, touching the corner of one optic. "Well, I think I did. There are only so many ways for me to remember you by."

Soundwave was overcome. His own mask crackled to life as he tried to respond. The visor was, evidently, not for Sonata himself. His spark jolted, his energy swirling so violently that he watched Sonata tense up again, reaching towards him. He watched those optics widen, and brighten in concern.

"Are you in pain?" he asked, touching Soundwave's arm. "Your systems aren't full capacity yet. I should let you rest."

Soundwave's fingers twitched. He shook his head, almost impossible to notice. _Stay, starsong._

Sonata sat back slowly. He nodded, and managed another shy smile. Soundwave stored it away and tried to sleep, but all _this_ was still trying to settle, and Laserbeak's spark pulsed weakly, so worrying. There were more questions, but he was unsure he was even ready for the answers. He was disconnected from any useful information networks, something he was entirely unused to. Eventually he really did start to doze.

At some point, when Soundwave's visor was offlined, he heard his son get up. There was the sound of a book being tugged free, and Sonata returned with it, leafing aimlessly through the datapad. Soundwave did not online his visor. It would distract him from his reading, and Sonata's company was already more than he deserved. Later he heard footsteps leaving, dozing off again in the quiet. He did need it.

It was some time before they returned. A third spark, one on the edge of Soundwave's consciousness, brought him fully awake.

"She'll be fine," Sonata said. His voice was firm. "Don't look at me like that. She will."

Soundwave onlined his visor to sit up, and see who had intruded on their sanctuary. He was abruptly pushed back down by clacking—paws?

A familiar old noise jolted his consciousness, loud purring that he had only ever heard from—

Ravage shuddered, and so did Soundwave, as the black form finally registered and enveloped him. Ravage dropped down on his chest, the way he'd used to do to irritate him, and Soundwave was not in the least bit bothered. His shaking fingers stroked Ravage's chin, and already he could feel their bond mending, cementing itself back together.

_Your frame's thinner,_ Ravage said. His ridiculous, joyful purr was deafening. _I see where your son got it._

Soundwave's vocalizer bleated static. His hands shook. Sonata closed the door softly and stared, his visor back over his optics.

_How?_

Ravage's tail swished. _A very long story. And what do I come home to, finally, but you two missing and your Megatron-grown sparklet. Honestly._

Soundwave asked, silently, after Rumble and Frenzy. Ravage said nothing, and sent the awful memory of their lifeless frames. That was that.

"He was found in deep space," Sonata said quietly. "Deep stasis. They woke him up and took him back."

_And I haven't left,_ Ravage said.

He could feel exactly what Ravage meant, and couldn't even feel guilty. Ravage was only slightly more sympathetic than Laserbeak to Soundwave's failings. Still, he had not stopped purring, and despite the discomfort of a panther on his chest, Soundwave didn't move him.

"I wanted to tell you earlier," Sonata said. He shifted awkwardly on his feet, hands behind his back. "But you already had a lot to take in. So we waited."

_It took everything I had._ Ravage laid his head down and huffed. _Believe me. Someone had to tell you what a fool you'd been to get trapped._

Where Soundwave had pared his frame down, Ravage had bulked up. Or maybe it was his weakness, making Ravage's weight sit so much heavier on his chest. His plating ached.

But their bond, deeper than the spark, had reformed. It pulsed strong within Soundwave, nostalgia from when he and his symbiotes were many.

Sonata dropped into his chair with a soft, satisfied noise. Soundwave really did rest.

* * *

He was bothered by medics in the next few days. Soundwave was not entirely surprised to see Knock Out around, though the Autobot symbol was new. He seemed happy enough to see Soundwave alive, and Sonata only seemed to be slightly uncomfortable that his room had been invaded.

"I've spent far too much time on this planet because of your son," Knock Out chided, checking Laserbeak's vitals on a scanner. "First his upgrade, now his whole quest to get _you_ …still. It'll be good for him." Knock Out raised a brow in Soundwave's direction. "He's been in here since upgrade looking for your signature."

"You _insisted_ on coming for my upgrade," Sonata said from his desk. Soundwave could hear the smile in his voice. "Something about how 'that old mech' would mess it all up."

"Well, he would have," Knock Out said irritably. "You would have gone nowhere in life if you weren't handsome."

Sonata shrugged, still turned towards his window. "Where else am I going?"

Knock Out huffed, turning to Soundwave, squinting at his visor. He was stronger now—sitting up was no longer a chore. His steps still wobbled, so at Sonata's insistence he stayed in the berth. A moment's thought of boredom and Ravage would be there in a second with one of Sonata's books. Always one he would like, always information he hadn't quite known. Like nothing had changed.

Ratchet was quieter, and his visits were less exhausting. Sonata allowed himself to be fussed over, and took medical grade when Ratchet deemed his biolight glow sallow. Soundwave couldn't tell if Sonata's discomfort in him was from Ratchet himself, or the situation. That bothered him.

As for Soundwave, he seemed begrudgingly pleased with the progress. There was no mention of their years of fighting, or the time before that. Still, Sonata seemed relieved when he left.

_He wanted to triage Laserbeak out,_ Ravage said to him that night. _Relax—I get it. Sonata lost it, so the old mech put her on spark support._

Soundwave didn't recharge well after that, and Ravage seemed guilty about it, lying against Soundwave's legs. Moonlight shone in, over Soundwave and over his son, recharging on a cot.

_Sonata says he was good to him,_ Ravage said finally. Soundwave's silence, wide awake, had gone on long enough _. After Prime died and no one else wanted him…I don't know, though._

Soundwave stroked Ravage's head, and was rewarded with a soft, contented purr.

_There is tension._

Ravage flicked his ear. _You'd feel it better than anyone. It's older than Laserbeak, but there are things your starsong won't tell me._

Soundwave chose to ignore Ratchet after that, answering for _yes_ and _no_ and taking the medicine he was left. Sonata was more comfortable when he was gone. Which was not much more comfortable, if he was honest. His son was unsteady in adulthood.

And unsteady around Soundwave, if they were all honest. Laserbeak could have helped bridge the gap, but she was still so faint, and silent. Soundwave had gleaned Sonata's life story from records, Ravage, and what Sonata was willing to disclose. It wasn't much: his shuttle found on Earth's moon, and Sonata protected from human authorities.

When asked about Prime's Autobots, Sonata shrugged, and left it at that. Soundwave was satisfied—they were far too soft to hurt a sparklet. Mention of Optimus himself made him wince.

Megatron was gone, and not mentioned. Soundwave kept his grief to himself.

Ravage had more to say. He had been here years already, Sonata's unofficial guardian. _Optimus was going to adopt him as some…I don't know. Some show of forgiveness to Megatron, I think._

Mention of their lord made Ravage tense more than Soundwave himself. The only mech who had succeeded in more tasks than Soundwave was this symbiote, and he had believed so firmly in the cause. Caring for Sonata seemed to have softened him. Soundwave certainly understood that.

Sonata's time with Optimus had not lasted long. He had used his own life to reignite their planet, and a sparklet's anguish at being left behind, _again,_ was a small price to pay for fresh hot spots and energon mines. Ratchet had taken him instead, almost certainly for Optimus's sake. Soundwave tried to imagine that lonely interim for a child. Books were not companionship. They certainly weren't a carrier.

He thought about Laserbeak, and how she was going to kill him when she woke up.

"My concerns are growing," Ratchet said. He had just injected Soundwave with an energon enricher, and he could already feel the ache coursing through his arm. Soundwave cocked his head at him, regarding him with his visor. As if they were not?

On his screen, he brought up Laserbeak's vital signs. Her sparkpulse was weak, but consistent. Many of the energon feeds and wires had been removed, but there had been no change. Ratchet sighed, irritable and tired.

"I can't promise she can stay that way much longer. Eventually her spark will get erratic."

Soundwave addressed him directly. At his desk, hunched over, Sonata's wings twitched in discomfort.

_She will wake up._

"For your sake, I hope so," Ratchet said curtly. As Soundwave sat up, making for the chair nearest Laserbeak, Ratchet pushed his shoulder back down. "I don't think so. You're recovering well, unlike your symbiote—so for your sparklet's sake, you should _rest._ "

Sonata looked up, his visor dim. His grip was too tight around his datapad. "I haven't been a sparklet for awhile," he said.

Ratchet huffed. He shook his head as he turned back to Laserbeak. "Not even alive one century and thinks he's grown up."

Sonata's steps were too heavy after he left, and his spark flickered with temper until Ravage demanded he get some fresh air. Soundwave listened to him stomp out of the old hangar, then to his engines roar to life as he transformed and took off.

Ravage huffed. _Teenagers._

When Soundwave could walk again, he started looking for a ship. There would be no leaving until Laserbeak's recovery, but he wanted to be ready. The thought that Sonata might choose to stay on Earth gnawed at him, but he ignored it. If so, than he and son would simply own a useful ship.

It took some convincing—Soundwave no longer had the power of being Megatron's most loyal. In fact, he had no power at all. Being at the mercy of others was disconcerting, but he had put up with worse for Sonata.

Still, Knock Out managed to point him in the direction of a shuttle that had been working for Earth. Cybertron High Command wouldn't miss it, and the vague illegality of it all was...comforting. Familiar and Decepticon.

_They just want us out of the way,_ Ravage said. _If we're in deep space or on a colony, how convenient for them._

It was while he was looking over the specs that he heard Sonata's voice raised. They had not spoken often since Soundwave recovered. That did hurt, but his presence was enough. It would be enough.

"-this could have all been prevented-"

"As _if_ High Command would have let us bring him back, boy! Do you know what kinds of favours Knock Out and I called in for you? For this?"

"I don't _care!_ You lied! If you had told me, we could have tried _something!_ You should know what it's like to be alone! Everyone _you_ love is dead or gone!"

A long, terrible silence. There was the sound of two mechs stomping off, and Soundwave walled up against their anger. Sonata did not return until morning.

When he did come home, he dropped hard into his chair. Every part of him seemed to sag, and Soundwave waited. He would not press, however much it hurt to realize he was now a stranger.

"I shouldn't treat him like that," Sonata said quietly. His visor was off, and his optics were dimmed. "He lied about you. Where you were. They knew all that time that you were trapped."

Ravage growled. Soundwave silenced him with a hand on his head, but his spark flared in anger. Autobot kindness was limited. But he now had someone else to blame should Laserbeak die.

Sonata sighed, heavy and tired. "The last of Ratchet's humans passed on some time ago. And the descendants don't really associate with him. He just holes up." Sonata shrugged. "I think…he's just another sad carrier who lost his children."

He asked Ravage, rhetorically, where his son had inherited such compassion. Ravage flicked his ears, glancing Sonata's way.

_Empath. He hasn't learned how to block it out yet._

Soundwave regarded his son in silence. Finally he reached out his hand, and Sonata looked up.

_You told me I am forgiven,_ he said. _I need reassurance._

Sonata stood up, and as he crossed the room Soundwave caught a flash of a smile. Ravage's soft, sleepy purr started back up.

"I want to get to know you," Sonata said. His voice was firm, and he squeezed Soundwave's hand. "I know I've been distant. But I mean that."

_Yes,_ Ravage said. _The bird would never put up with your nonsense._

Sonata's smile grew sad. Soundwave did not let go of his hands. Knowing each other again would come, he decided. Ravage purred his reassurance, and Soundwave's spark ached. He had missed this.

When Knock Out finally cleared him (to Ratchet's chagrin), Sonata took him flying. It felt odd, to be in the air without a real task at hand—even stranger to know Laserbeak wasn't somewhere at his side. Ravage's new alt mode could latch into Sonata's back, but he chose to stay behind. Soundwave suspected him of harassing the wildlife (something Ravage had denied with a feather between his fangs).

Sonata flew well—awkward still, but he had millennia to improve. Soundwave followed his lead, and found himself enjoying the air over his wings. He had rarely flown for flying's sake.

They paused to rest on a mesa, well out of the humans' views. Sonata looked over it, visor off and hands on his hips. He sighed.

"Earth's okay," he said. "I hate the crowds on Cybertron."

_As did I._

Sonata smiled, but it was gone as quickly as it arrived.

"Do you think about Megatron a lot?" he asked suddenly.

Soundwave stiffened. But, he told himself, honesty was key. With his son, always.

_Every day._

"Would you want to see him again?"

Soundwave was silent. The wind rustled the Earth flora, and Sonata waited for him to speak. Finally, he nodded.

_I grieve for who he was. How he hurt you._

Sonata winced, and Soundwave waited a beat. _If he lives…once more, starsong. I would see him._

"I…I'd like to speak with him, too," Sonata said quietly. "I'm useful now. I want to show him."

That fire he'd felt once in Sonata's spark was still there. It was a hot coal under ash, and he and his symbiotes would have to stoke it again...but it had kept him grounded. The loneliness had bred goals, one of which stood before Sonata now. His son's optics blazed bright for a moment.

"Let's go home," he said quickly. He transformed and shot into the air, Soundwave close behind.

He had gotten access to those final records, of Megatron claiming he'd lost his taste for war and simply...going away. He didn't think about it for long, as when they returned they found that their shuttle had arrived. It went straight into a hangar, of course. Laserbeak had still not moved.

Still, they packed. Sonata would have had few possessions, filling only one small box, if not for his books.

"They're all coming," he said firmly, already easing datapads down from the highest shelf. When Soundwave reminded him that the ship had a subspace hatch, Sonata shook his head. "I like them in sight."

Ravage flicked his tail, curled in the free part of Laserbeak's berth. _The important things haven't always stayed close. Have they?_

Soundwave had forgotten how cutting he could be. He ignored him, and continued packing datapads into a box. For such a closely guarded collection, Sonata's books were disorganized and haphazardly stuffed onto shelves. Soundwave's shelves had been tidy; he only kept what was most dear.

He collected and sorted gently, in the way Sonata had clumped them together. Soundwave understood having extensions of oneself. He suspected reorganizing would only make Sonata anxious.

Not that he was getting it right. He watched, patiently, as Sonata opened a box back up and reorganized his books, again. Ravage admonished him, but Soundwave could see him being tuned out as he spoke. He nudged Soundwave as he padded out of the room instead.

_He's turning into_ you.

Soundwave looked at his son, cross-legged on the floor and leafing through a distracting volume. Intent as he had ever been, or as focused as Soundwave ever was on his work. He started to reach out, to cup his son's face as easily as he had long ago…and stopped. Pulled back, and returned to his pile.

"It's awfully bare in here these days," Knock Out said one morning, strolling around Sonata's space. He had briefly returned to Cybertron since Soundwave's recovery—his mod business was booming. Sonata's shelves, now empty, had been dragged aboard too—they would need a place for the books.

Sonata shrugged. "Time to go, I guess."

"Mm. But you still haven't left?"

Sonata pointed, silently, at Laserbeak. Knock Out's shoulders shifted.

"No change, I see," he said. His gaze was critical.

"Ratchet would have told you as much," Sonata said flatly.

"I don't need Ratchet," Knock Out snapped. He squinted at Laserbeak's spark frequency. "I need to see for myself."

Knock Out fussed over Laserbeak for some time, but the prognosis remained the same. Soundwave thought of her fading offline, as they waited so patiently, and his spark shuddered again. Ravage looked up, and stared at him, hard. Even Soundwave's resolve had begun to crack, after so many weeks. She had lived off his energon for so long. And he had _dropped_ her.

The old strength between Soundwave and Sonata would not right itself without her. She had felt the spark grow, greeted him at birth in ways Ravage had not.

Soundwave was exhausted by this wall. Sonata had built it back up as soon as he could. It seemed the meaning Soundwave's renewed presence had not been thought about until he really was present.

But he couldn't blame his starsong. Soundwave leaving had drafted blueprints, from which Sonata built his walls. Soundwave's return had not brought Sonata back to him. Not yet.

Soundwave woke to a familiar press against his spark. For a split second, he decided he was dreaming. It had been long ago since he had carried Sonata.

Then it hit him, like a wave, that the presence was familiar, and he sat up straight in an incredibly undignified way. Soundwave found himself on his hands and knees, shoulders shaking minutely, as he stared into one of Laserbeak's bright, beady optics.

She turned her head and looked around, slowly, at Sonata's walls. _I take it this isn't the Afterspark._

Soundwave shuddered. He reached out, his fingers twitching.

_Your recovery was…uncertain._

Laserbeak's optics flickered, and she pushed forward, to rest her head against Soundwave's hand. _I feel you. I feel_ Ravage. _I have never felt so good._

Eventually, Soundwave found it in himself to rest Laserbeak in his lap and let her recharge again, mindful of the tubes. Her spark was strengthening already.

Soundwave's was as whole as it would ever be.

Ravage and Sonata scrambled over the berth when they returned, as ridiculous as Soundwave had been in their effort to get close. Laserbeak indulged them, exhausted and simultaneously wide awake as she took in their existence.

_Look at you,_ she'd say, over and over. Her words crackled their bond, tumbling out without thought. _Look at you both._

_A little anticlimactic,_ Ravage said, in one of their old codes. Purring as loudly as he ever had. _I thought it'd happen just as the old medic switched off the machines._

_You're one to talk,_ Laserbeak shot back. _Waltzing in here like you_ weren't _dead for two million years._

Soundwave watched his son, visorless and smiling. Warmth curled around his spark as Sonata looked up and turned that smile on and bright, as close to those childhood smiles as he was going to get.

"We should go over the ship's specs again," he said. "Now that we're free to go."

Soundwave listened to Laserbeak and Ravage, already arguing about something inane, until Sonata's adult frame was mentioned and they began to exclaim their affection. Ridiculous, these emotions. They were entirely un-Decepticon, and his symbiotes appeared to have stopped caring.

Behind his visor, Soundwave's mouth twitched. Sonata pointed at the catches.

"Let me see your face," he said. That old game. "I know you're happy under there. Let's see."

Soundwave reached up to oblige. He thought about Sonata's quiet distance, and Laserbeak's silence. He thought about Ravage, proof that not everyone really left

He thought about devotion, as he showed them all his face and his smile turned shy. He found himself not caring at all what Megatron would think of this display, because it didn't matter.

Maybe they would see him, he thought to himself. Out in deep space, living a lonely penance. Maybe he would finally find Sonata useful. Or maybe they wouldn't, and would explore every colony and more.

It didn't matter. Soundwave had found others to trust in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is. I'd love to use Sonata in other work too, or write more about his life (there is a lot there Soundwave, and by extension we, miss), but real life is real life and always busy, so for now I'll be focusing on Fledgling when I have time for fic at all. The feedback on this story has been a joy, and to those who comment, leave kudos or bookmark, I check all of them and they just make my day!


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